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Shikihe
Prodigy
Age: 25
Posts: 102
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Last Visit: 17 Feb 2011
Location: Finland |
 Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:57 am Post subject: |
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Woah... this is unusual, I thought about what I am gonna write and felt nothing but as soon as I started writing I was overwhelmed by sadness. I feel bad, why did I start writing this. I see, I never said it to anyone, only thought about it myself. Woah, I could cry now, but I don't do it.
Sorry, the first paragraph was something I went trough while writing and I felt that it's important to put it there. So the thing I have noticed while growing up is very depressing. I have always had friends, familys trust, I lately got a girlfriend and everything should be okay. But I got only one thought in my head "why do I need to live" I'm not suicidial or anything, but I feel that it would be better to die and be gone.
So, because I have absolutely no idea why I need to live on. I'm gonna have fun, my ultimate goal is to have fun and it doesn't matter if other people think im weird or something, only thing that matters is the fact that im having good time. I can't put my thoughts into words, they are so confusing.
I was thinking very long if I should post this or not, because I never shared these thoughts with anyone, im going bit offtopic too but thats what I have noticed while growing up, I'm just becoming more conscious about the question that is bugging me more than anything...
Why should I live?
I don't expect answer that will satisfy me, or any answers at all  If anyone else is struggling with this question pls share your thoughts.
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dreamer_chick
Somniologist
Posts: 213
Joined: 21 Jun 2005
Last Visit: 02 Jan 2008
Location: U.S.A |
| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:18 am Post subject: Strugges with 'Growing Up.' |
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I thought I'd post again since I was the person who started up the topic -lol- 
Anyway, lately I've been having trouble finding who I am exactly. Around some friends I seem like one person, and around others, I feel like I different one. I feel like I need to fit in, and maybe others won't accept me for who I truly am....and I guess that I"m just a little insecure right now. 
Also, stress is a big thing. I stress about A LOT, and I'm already worrying about college when I'm just going to be a freshmen next year....  .  lol
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Linko_16
Lucid Initiate
Age: 24
Posts: 66
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Last Visit: 16 Aug 2007
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| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 8:21 am Post subject: Re: Strugges with 'Growing Up.' |
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| dreamer_chick wrote: |
| Anyway, lately I've been having trouble finding who I am exactly. Around some friends I seem like one person, and around others, I feel like I different one. I feel like I need to fit in, and maybe others won't accept me for who I truly am....and I guess that I"m just a little insecure right now. |
I noticed that about myself, too... I act completely in different mediums. I liked to be loud and funny with some people, quiet and thoughtful around others, et cetera. The answer I found for myself was that, even though I showed traits at different times that seem contradicting, they were all just parts of myself I lived out in different surroundings. I liked being loud and quiet, funny and thoughtful. Don't feel the need to pick just one of your personalities or attitudes in an attempt to label yourself.
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powerbeyond
Somniologist
Age: 24
Posts: 158
Joined: 03 Apr 2006
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2008
Location: Norway |
| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 8:24 am Post subject: |
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i would say i agree with linko here.. you arent a different person cause you act different sometimes... all you do is fit into the invironment.. its just the way things are.. im both romantic and funny.. when im around guy friends im not romantic, id rather me funny then, if you see what i mean 
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powerbeyond
Somniologist
Age: 24
Posts: 158
Joined: 03 Apr 2006
Last Visit: 29 Jan 2008
Location: Norway |
| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| Shikihe wrote: |
Woah... this is unusual, I thought about what I am gonna write and felt nothing but as soon as I started writing I was overwhelmed by sadness. I feel bad, why did I start writing this. I see, I never said it to anyone, only thought about it myself. Woah, I could cry now, but I don't do it.
Sorry, the first paragraph was something I went trough while writing and I felt that it's important to put it there. So the thing I have noticed while growing up is very depressing. I have always had friends, familys trust, I lately got a girlfriend and everything should be okay. But I got only one thought in my head "why do I need to live" I'm not suicidial or anything, but I feel that it would be better to die and be gone.
So, because I have absolutely no idea why I need to live on. I'm gonna have fun, my ultimate goal is to have fun and it doesn't matter if other people think im weird or something, only thing that matters is the fact that im having good time. I can't put my thoughts into words, they are so confusing.
I was thinking very long if I should post this or not, because I never shared these thoughts with anyone, im going bit offtopic too but thats what I have noticed while growing up, I'm just becoming more conscious about the question that is bugging me more than anything...
Why should I live?
I don't expect answer that will satisfy me, or any answers at all If anyone else is struggling with this question pls share your thoughts. |
i know EXACTLY how you feel... and the answer for me became love.. love is the feeling im staying alive for.. loving another girl and being loved back is such an amasing thing that its worth living for, you say yourself that you have a girlfriend.. you have to ask yourself, do you really love her? because the only thing i can think of when you have thoughts like this is that deep inside yourself you dont really love your girldfriend...
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The Toy Master
Welcome to Wonderland
Age: 23
Posts: 497
Joined: 16 Aug 2002
Last Visit: 16 Sep 2010
Location: Maryland, USA |
| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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I feel like I'm not going to change at all as I become older. I am currently 16 and I have yet to actually yell at someone when I am upset. I've been told by a large amount of people that I'm an altruist, and I pretty much believe that. I think the only thing that will change about me is that I will start to work harder as I enter college, get a job, etc.
I am a kid at heart. I love cartoons.
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Jabbervock
Astral Explorer
Age: 27
Posts: 303
Joined: 16 May 2002
Last Visit: 28 Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand |
| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Shikihe, I can't tell you the meaning of life, but one things for sure, you're not living to dwell on that question. I've asked myself similar questions many a time, as I'm sure most people had, but at the end of the day you're never really going to get an answer to it. You have to give you own life meaning, no-one but you can choose what that meaning is.
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Linko_16
Lucid Initiate
Age: 24
Posts: 66
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Last Visit: 16 Aug 2007
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| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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| MeZergy wrote: |
| I feel like I'm not going to change at all as I become older. |
I didn't think so either when I was younger. When older people would tell me that a year made a big difference at my age, I just thought they didn't understand how grown up I thought I was. Maybe things will turn out different for you, but they were right... I feel like I've changed a lot even since I was just sixteen.
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Shikihe
Prodigy
Age: 25
Posts: 102
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Last Visit: 17 Feb 2011
Location: Finland |
| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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beyondpower and Jabbervock, thanks for your answers. I can't say for sure if I love or don't love my girlfriend, but it's not new to me, I never kinda fall in love with girls. And Jabber you said something which was very profound to me, that I'm not going to live thinking about this question, only put it on the background and maybe get some answers for it later on.
But what comes to love, I think I never felt love. But maybe I sometime will -.- Thanks for your words they ment alot to me coz I didn't think that kind of things at all 'coz I was too deep in my own thoughts.
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Amused Himself to Death
pretty close...
Age: 24
Posts: 879
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Last Visit: 21 May 2012
Location: BC |
| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:46 am Post subject: |
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I'm looking forward to the end of this. In high school, I've built a Wall high around me, I'm looking forward to pulling it down. Like the person I am outside of school is a cocky, funny, gentle person. Inside of school I'm an angry, mean, unhappy person. Like I find it so damn stifling to be in its environment. Like I'm an independent, creative person, and all my life I've been told what to do inside of school. It's not like I haven't learned anything, it's just that everytime i'm in high school, it basically feels like my soul is dying. It just isn't a good feeling.
lol, I'm not a woe is me type person, however. I get out in a a month and a half, and I figure thats about when my life starts. I want to be a writer. A Paperback Writer 
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Am I Dreaming?
I often ask myself.
Posts: 100
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Last Visit: 14 May 2006
Location: In your head. |
| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:57 am Post subject: |
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The lessons I've learned over the past five years:
1. Try to avoid taking things seriously.
2. Sometimes you can't keep people from doing stupid stuff, and in those situations it's sometimes best to just distance yourself.
3. Sex, drugs, and fitting in are all highly overrated.
4. High school is a breeding ground for stupidity.
5. People in power are likely to abuse that power.
6. Never compromise when it comes to your dreams.
7. Always think before you act.
8. The importance of self-confidence and logical thinking cannot be overstressed.
9. Never let anyone pressure you into doing anything.
10. Sometimes you have to let people be scumbags. <-- still learning this one |
[mod edit]edited...please read the forum guidelines  [/mod edit]
If I could give you a tip for growing up.... Think from an early age what you want to do with the rest of your life. I mean, still have fun bein a teenager while it lasts but place a bit of importance on life after school. I never wanted to do anything I just wanted to bum around and party with mates. Now I'm 22 and I dont have anything really going for me, and I still couldnt tell you what I want to do with my life.
Dont end up working a sucky low paying job for the rest of your life. Find what you want to do with your life and find out what you need to accomplish it.
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Shaper
Lord of Dreams
Age: 26
Posts: 3979
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Last Visit: 15 Apr 2013
Location: Quebec, Canada |
| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:55 pm Post subject: |
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Here are a few things I've learned as I've grown older;
High school can be a downer if you let it, but hang in there. Post-Secondary education is where it's at
Pick your friends wisely, because the friends you make now could be with you for a long time, so you may want associate yourself with, good, caring people.
Learn as much as you can. Growing up, you'll have time to learn, so take advantage of it. Also, remember to think for yourself. Society has a way of trying to get you to think like everyone else, but it's important to always think clearly and reach your own conclusions, come up with your own ideas, etc.
Don't let adulthood kill your inner child!!
Finally, explore some possibilities for what you want to do for your life. I know, this can be hard, so my advice is to try to pick something that allows you to be dynamic. This is where the benefits of College/University become apparent. Also, keep in mind that if you grow up and don't enjoy your job, you can always find another job when the opportunity presents itself, so don't let the burden of deciding what to do with the rest of your life get you depressed, because it's very likely you won't be doing the same thing your whole life anyway
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StEvE21
Dream Deity
Age: 23
Posts: 536
Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Last Visit: 27 Oct 2010
Location: Canada |
| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 12:12 am Post subject: |
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"I feel like I'm not going to change at all as I become older. I am currently 16 and I have yet to actually yell at someone when I am upset. I've been told by a large amount of people that I'm an altruist, and I pretty much believe that. I think the only thing that will change about me is that I will start to work harder as I enter college, get a job, etc.
I am a kid at heart. I love cartoons. "
Me too. When I read that, it felt like I was reading my own post.
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ivi
dreamer
Age: 29
Posts: 100
Joined: 16 Sep 2003
Last Visit: 16 Mar 2013
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skeedlz
death metal soul.
Posts: 529
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Last Visit: 19 Jun 2010
Location: USA |
| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:22 am Post subject: |
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I have started realizing everyoen wants to fit in so they will follow whatever trend it is. That is why i have started noticing more emos.
I have also noticed that in high school more people have been getting into drugs and more people try to pressure me into trying these things. I am strong enough to resist but i see that more and more people i knwo are falling under peer pressure and turn against me when i try to make them realize they are stronger than everyone talking them into it. Also i have become more frustrated with the people who are falling under this pathetic influence and im grwing apart from everyone i was once close with. i dont need people who refuse to try to think for themselves.
I have begun to notice that alot of my girlfriends(Who are friends) kiss me without really meaning anything bye it and they dont care about who they kiss and flirt with. it is really stange cause it really messes with my head. also i just started to realize that if i cant change myself then i may end up bein alone for a lot longer than i want. Yeah so i have had alot more realizations then this...
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