I just wanted top ahve one thign straight.
What if you coem to ehr place and she sleeps with a guy ?
You go out to the kitchen getting them a drink when their done ?
Been there and whatsnot.Only advice i have is not to mix it with feelings.It looks good now but i can assure you that as soon as deeper emotions are involved youre gonna face very difficult situation with acusations,argues and all that. Open relationship with other partners involved can be done only if you treat it recreationally.And even mature people get lost in it. Do it if youre sex curious- but save yourself huge troubles on your way and do so with someone else,preferably older.
If you decide to have it with your actuall gf- im afraid you might be sorry.
But choice is yours and whatever you choose, you`ll be one with the consequences.
Good luck!
Ps.also dont trust the steadiness of your gf here- girls are far more emotionall and even if she shares your point of view now- theres huge chance she will not soon.
i could not disagree more. i was in a relationship that was “open” at a certain period of time. our agreement was to not talk about it. well, that did not happen, and both experienced jealousy and hurt. maybe your relationship with her will get serious, then you’ll know exactly what she has done, and with whom. it’s hard to keep that thought completely out of mind.
this is my line of thinking on the subject as well. but i know quite a few people who are into recreational sex. however i know that many of these people have a difficult time keeping feelings out of it.
bottom line: it sucks when you get together with a person, and you are not the only person they have slept/fooled around with from that point. at least one party involved always gets hurt.
This just doesnt seem like a good idea to me. 
Well, me and this female have started having sex, but not dating or anything. We have both said we have feelings for each other, but we have decided to let them evolve and see if it takes us to a loving relationship or a friends with benifits thing. We’ll see…
It seems so rare these days when two people wait to have sex until they genuinely love each other…
nods my girl and i waited. made it such a lovely experience. i wish more people would want it to be that way.
It can be loving, but why can’t people just have fun with it as well? Every human yearns for it, so if there is a chance to do it, and you want to do it, why deny yourself just because you are not in love? Why not just have fun?
Why can’t people just have fun with it? Oh, plenty do have fun with it, as an overwhelming number of people hold your exact views, DayLight. I don’t however, and while I see sex as being fun, exciting, etc., I also know I could only do something that intimate with someone I was completely in love with. To me, it just wouldn’t be fulfilling as a type of sport. It wouldn’t mean anything. It would make me feel primitive and animalistic and like I was missing out for not waiting to experience it with the right person in the right circumstances. To me, waiting isn’t a problem at all. I equate sexual intimacy with love, and I don’t think I could ever separate the two. Besides, I am positive something like sex is infinitely better when there’s a strong, emotional connection. I’m content to wait for that. 
I could not have a “relationship” with a girl like that. I could have sex with her as well as having sex with other people, but I would feel absolutely nothing for her.
To me a relationship is all about how you feel for each other and in that kind of situation I would have no emotions whatsoever for her.
Infact I dont think I could hear her talk about the other guys shes having sex with. I’m kind of the jeleous type.
As long as your having sex with other chicks then I guess its ok. But if your just having sex with her and growing more and more attatched while she is having sex with all these other guys then thats a messed up situation.
Powerbeyond is going to be harsh.
imagine you bump into her one night when your out shopping or something, you are with her… but you see her talking with abother guy, graphic details edited out before she comes to your house at nights… imagine the diseases he might have… you want to end up with clamydia and stuff like that? all i can say is yuck! she sounds, not trying to be rude or something, but she sounds kind of cheap… to me this doesent sound like a good idea… how can a relationship be serious if its like this? imagine you having kids and they ask one night, where is mommy? what would you say? “oh, she is off doing the bee and flower thing with some other guy” 
this sort of relationship will lead to jealousy i think…[/i]
Seems like admitting to have sex for pleasure and fun is not widely accepted.
Hes not forcing anyone to do same and hes not forcing anyone to approve it- guy just asked for dangers and gets a label.Gets judgement.Its not too fair.
Its your life mate- do it your way and be happy:)
Jack, you can’t expect to post something like that and not get flak from people. He asked for opinions, and that’s what he got. I don’t think anybody was particularly harsh, and if he’s now subject to being “labeled”, then so be it. That’s just the way the world works. People are going to have opinions of other people based on how they live their lives.
And besides, he is and already has chosen to live his life the way he wants regardless of what anybody said, so I don’t see the feedback he got as being detrimental in the slightest.
I just don’t foresee these types of relationships working for one big reason; the fact that as long as your that close to someone else, there’s a chance that the original open relationship will not last. So if you want a long term relationship, like a marriage, I’m not so sure this type of thing would work. It would depend on who else you saw, and how often.
Personally, I wouldn’t go for this type of thing, but if someone else wants to try it I’m not going to stop them. Just be aware that there is always the chance that being with that many other people may cause the original ‘spark’ of the relationship to vanish.
Must be either me too sensitive or my english fault- just thought i write few lines,no big deal.
Don’t get me wrong, Jack, I always enjoy hearing what you have to say. You bring a fresh perspective to the discussion.
Well, I tried this. It wasn’t just that “we can have sex with others”, it was more like that we could have multiple boy/girlfriends if we really wanted to. Or so we said…
We thought that if we weren’t so strict, there would be less chance of breaking up because of silly arguments like “you like him, don’t you”, and all that.
But, when I started to like this friend who we both knew, and he liked me too, there was complications. My boyfriend said that he didn’t want it open anymore, and this other guy told me that he didn’t want to “share me” with anyone else.
Sad actually, that they became so egoistical. I liked them both, but they forced me to choose. So I ended up losing both. So my advice is that you should really talk this through before deciding and try not to act childish.
I think it is a good idea in theory, but because there are people who may not agree with it, it will fail one day.
But if you don’t care about her that much, I think it’s ok.
i didnt mean to be mean or anything when i posted… just posted my own views on the subject… in the end it all comes to how you feel and what you would like to do… if it doesent bother you then sure, why not… but in my eyes when you have something like this i dont really see it lasting for long, but maybe one time she would ask for this kind of openes to end… then you would know she really love you…
I say just go for it. Have a good time, see if it works. Learn for yourself. Just keep in mind it’s beeen tried many times before, and most of them fail. Watch out for that 
I have to agree with Jack on this one. You can’t mix emotions with an “open relationship”. Things change down the line. They’ll change for one of you and then the problems will begin.