the BIG Jokes topic Part II

[Cid Silverwing]

Yeah.

[The HB]

Well, its all from one B.I.G.S.H.I.T to the other B.I.G.S.H.I.Ts

[The HB]

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic
neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a
big juicy steak on his grill.

Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper.
This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the
neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done
about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and
they couldn't take it anymore.

They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over
and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his
neighbors and become a Catholic.

They took him to church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him
and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now
you are Catholic."

The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was
resolved.

The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent
came, and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was sitting down to
their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a
grill.

The neighborhood men could not believe their noses! WHAT WAS GOING ON?

They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see
if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent?

The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with
a small pitcher of water. He was sprinkling some water over his steak
on the grill, saying, "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and
now you are a fish."

[The HB]

Educating Parrots

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you
are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know,
I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots
whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in
the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots
to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying
that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman
responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were
inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out
in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked
over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away,
Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

[The HB]

Casino Nudity

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed......

"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,

"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching!"

Moral - not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!

[Cid Silverwing]

Heard that one before. That's a cheap trick.