Protected too much (split from "A dream made me...)

Yeah, I know, its weird.

huh?

Maybe her parents are :crazy: and expect their daughter to be a virgin rest of her life…which, imho is really the best way to ensure a girl won’t be one as soon as she escapes them.

yeah, once we were sitting in an empty classroom while she practiced her violin, just talking, (for like 5 minutes)but she told me not to tell anyone because her parents think if she’s in a room alone with a guy for more than five minutes, she’s lost her virginity. :huh:

Sick, imho… if a girl doesn’t learn how to respect herself, either from too much protection or not enough then she’s gonna have problems in that area and end up learning the hardest way possible

“Your not aloud to be around boys untill after your married!!” :content:

Seriously though, what a bummer. Its not like you guys will get pregnant or catch a disease form hanging out with each other.

You have my sympathies about this situation.

I feel bad for this girl. Do you think this girl fears her parents or respects them? When she makes comments like that what are her expressions like?

My daughter is about the age of the majority of the hs students here, and I could never see misleading her like that when it comes to sex ed.

well idk, she was serious but not like way frightened or anything. plus she could have been exaggerating.

Maybe her father have had bad experiences about these kinds of things…

Like something that happened in the past that could make him protect his own daughter… perhaps he had a friend in his youth who had an unwanted pregnancy… or perhaps he had a sister abused by a boyfriend… or someone close to him commited suicide because of such things done to her… etc.

I can’t help but feel that something may have happened to him… or there is some thing he was forced to bear witness to, something he doesn’t want to see his own daughter go through.

Maybe, idk. Either way it still kinda sucks.

It does suck I’m sure, believe me trauma doesn’t have to cause that kind of overprotection and he’s just not helping her at all… some parents tend to go with the I know better with their kids way too far…

Kind of wondering? Have you, or his daughter asked him why he’s like that… Then again, it might be a bit rude.

Yeah, I haven’t but I think it’s just because he wants to protect his daughter and he’s Christian, and is confusing the whole sexual morality thing. I’m all for sexual purity and I respect that and think it’s a good thing, but you can’t just think no one does. I don’t know if that made any sense. In other words: It’s good that he wants his daughter to be pure, but he has to let her take charge of that and not keep her from any situation where that could possibly be a choice. It’s like knowing murder is wrong, but then thinking you should keep your child locked up so there’s no way he can murder, that just doesn’t make sense. Idk though, it might not be like that, maybe they just don’t think she’s emotionally ready. He was supposed to send me a sermon we could discuss, and I still haven’t gotten it.

it seems to me he is just real overprotective of his daughter, while that’s not a bad thing in one sense, it is in another. Sooner or later he is going to have to realize that he cant hold her “prisoner” or be too much protecting for too much longer. Just talk it over with him, say the things you have told us about like Sexual Purity and stuff like that, He has to understand.

Seraphim somebody mentioned earlier about your post about us “not knowing anything about your relationship” and how you should tell us… the thread got a little off track, but i’d like to know. What is it that we don’t know?

Nicholas Roberts
I think you may find more information in this other topic by Seraphim https://community.ld4all.com/t/my-first-love-not-in-rl/13938
we don’t want this split topic going off topic too :tongue:

My mom doesn’t want me to go far away…So annoying since everything is so far away from the area I live in! :grrr: I never go on field trips. I can hang out with nearly anyone, just not go out of town… :neutral:

Whatever you I’d be very careful to share my opinions to people like that girl’s dad, they are usually very narrow-minded unreasonable people. I’ve seen it so many times, once had to deal with it, never can reason with someone like that… (he may be different). Try to be polite and slowly draw out what you’re trying to say, being direct is what really caused trouble for me.

Dads, moms ,boyfriends…all talking bout virginity- purity.
Heh, its childish thinking that a girl`s purity or honour or dignity or what else you want there is represented by this little, thin, physicall feature.
Its not between her legs but in her head.Any girl can make perfect wife regardless of wheter she had 100 boyfriends before or just few.Speaking from experience if she had none she will propably not, but not because of her but because such person requires extra sensitive and wise husband.She will go through many sexuall stages with him and not everything will be pleasant.
Taking a virgin for a wife is maybe knocking on someones ego but its full of suprises and it takes a lot of maturity to handle it right.
Anyways…its everyones choice and im not saying whos wrong or whos right.Just pointing that experience in sex does not make anyone a hooker or less respectable person.These are different things- i.e girls who lack love in their family or are abused tend to loose their virginity earlier because they desperately look for acceptation and love.So they have one boyfriend after another but not because they are easy.They make as good wives as virgins if not better.

And thirdly- it can be lost during physicall excercises, backyard games, masturbation- there are many non virgins with no sexuall experience.

Having above in mind i consider being so much attracted to this one thiny thing a joke.
Good luck there.

I’m strict with my teenage daughter too. But I’m definitely not saying I’m perfect.

Sometimes you can’t be too careful. I would appreciate a talk if I were the parent. But then I’m very open and easy to talk to. I would first ask the girl if she’s okay with you going.

Amen, Jack!

Totally agree with you this time.

Overprotected ones are usually even more tend to break the rules and limits of their parents as a sign of protest.