Train Ride
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.
“How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the men.
“Watch and learn,” answers one of the women.
They all board the train.
The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please!! "
The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don’t buy any ticket at all!!
“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed man
“Watch and learn,” answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves hertoilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.
The woman knocks on their door and says,“Ticket, please.”
================================================== ===================================
The String
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked “Why the spoon?” … “Well,” he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we canreduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.
Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I
asked the waiter “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?” “Oh,certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found
out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it
out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39
percent.”
“After you get it out, how do you put it back?”
“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”
I think those are my favourites.
People seemed to like it a lot!
