Shatter, I am more than comfortable with my gender. But here (LD4all) people are pretty open, so this slight dissatisfaction with their given sex could be pretty normal. It may not be the gender per se, but the stereotypes associated with it.
Wyvern, just take care to not let what any prejudiced person says to heart. You’re a good person, so don’t worry about people not liking you on the ridiculous grounds of your transsexuality.
I think that you shouldn’t come out of the closet IRL until you are fully comfortable with it and confident about who you are. It will show, and potentially stop people from picking on you.
Oh, that makes sense. I guess I thought everyone was saying they were like Wyvern, and partially (If not totally) dissatisfied with their current gender. I’ve got to say, that sucks. You aren’t even comfortable in your own body, wyvern.
I’m quite happy being a girl, and wouldn’t want to change that at all. Though sometimes I consider how life would be if I were a guy, and what might be easier and harder to deal with. I wouldn’t trade my gender for anything, but sometimes I feel that if I were a guy, I’d have an easier time making friends. That’s pretty much it.
Anyway, Wyvern and anybody else who doesn’t feel comfortable in your own skin…I’m sorry. It’s terrible that you feel alienated from everybody at times, and have to contend with closed-minded people who don’t understand you. It’s a bad situation to be in.
But luckily, there are always people who support you and make the effort to understand you. There are also procedures you can choose to make your life what you want it to be.
It’s funny, Wyvern, but I always forget that you’re not a guy. That’s just how you come across to me. I wish you luck in your journey, and I hope you find happiness being who you are, regardless of what form you’re in.
Shatter, I too am perfectly comfortable in my own gender, so not everyone who replied to the topic before you was in the same position as Wyvern; just telling her that it is no big deal and that it is perfectly acceptable. As to the not liking the stereotypes assigned to the gender, I suppose I can agree to that though I never think of it that way, I am definitly in touch with my feminine side and hate a lot of the boy stereotypes, but I never really pay attention to that. I just act as I like and I am happy as the gender that I am.
Whoa, I wasn’t expecting this kind of response at all.
Thanks for everyone’s concern (don’t start throwing me a pity party though. ). It’s great to have so many open minded people on this forum.
As for what gender I am in a dream, I’m almost always male. It’s usually the first thing I do when I get lucid. Lately I’ve been starting off a lot of my dreams as a guy so that’s a nice dream sign.
Mm I was like that. From when I was twelve to about sixteen I hated being a male completely. I insisted that I wasn’t, and still do sometimes feel like my soul is that of a female, not a male. But mostly I’ve gotten used to it and just accepted the fact that my body is what it is. You aren’t alone Wyvern
I don’t think it’s that everyone is always uncomfortable with their gender, but rather that everyone questions and comtemplates their gender. Those people who have stated that sometimes theyt feel male, but are also comfortable and/or gotten used to being a girl seem to be confused or curious, and not an actual transgender person.
My path with transgenderism has been less a biological need and more a spiritual practice. I believe there are two prevalent, God-like energies in the universe; one masculine and one feminine. The combining of these energies results in creation. When masculine and feminine energies merge on a cosmic level, existance was manifested, but when the energies are combined on our level, I see it as a path to the divine. A large part of “working on myself” and “coming into the spirit” has revolved around erasing my gender identity. My daily wardrobe consists of both male and female clothing, and alot of my thought processes are more traditionally atributed to women. I feel that emotionally, I am more female, physically, more male, and spiritually, the two are intertwining.
daylight, that second part is quite an interesting read. I don’t quite understand it but i suppose that that’s a little too much to wrap my head around right now
as far as the first part goes, however, iu’m gonna have to disagree with you there. I don’t think it’s ever that simple, at least i know it’s not for me (well, that is to say that i have any idea about any of it, which i don’t, so it’s a lot of assuming going on). Also, there are varying levels of most “disorders” or such, anyway.
anyway, today was just GREAT so far and why am i saying this here? i think it helped to get it off my chest and i dunno why i didn’t ever mention anything in the like before, i’ve just been exploding with all day
A lot of people go through confusion when they go through their teen years and stuff. It’s normal for people to try to identify themselves at this age. I mean, I see it a lot with people who are still unsure of their sexual orientation.
The thing is, transexuality is usually a lot more serious than just simple confusion like “Maybe I should have been born I guy/girl”. It doesn’t go away. You just always feel uncomfortable in your skin. It’s more like, “Why do I have to be a girl/guy?!” At least, that’s from my experience and what I’ve seen from other transexuals.
And TRJR, I know the feeling you’re talking about. When I finally opened up about myself and stopped lying to myself about it, that alone lightened my mood about the whole subject. My mom was giving me weird looks because I was so happy.
well of course that’s part of it, and who knows in a few years i might be over it all together
but i think that everyone’s problem (if you could call it that) is very, if not totally different.
I personally think the human psyche is too complicated for it to be generalized down to “teen confusion” or stuff like that. While that very well may be a contributing factor to it there has got to be tons of other factors that vary for everything, not to mention the fact that transgenderism is if i’m not mistaken caused by hormone imbalance in the brain, of course this would be the stem of most of it. That is not to say that is someone did not have a hormone imbalance that they couldn’t experience it.
It’s like if a kid cuts himself, and people just label it as “teen angst”
maybe that’s part of it but it ignores what could be sozens of other factors that drive him or her down that path in the first place.
here’s a prime example i can relate to
i was always picked on as a kid, and i used to be quite the crybaby. Anyway also notice how society always tells us: guys don’t cry, they rough it up.
Now maybe i’m just searching for excuses here or some shit but that seems a reasonable factor to me.
The point is i don’t think that kids are “just confused”
Truth. I thought for sure I was gay when I was around 16 or so, since I was raised by my mother and grandmother and I picked up a lot of feminine mannerisms from them. I still get asked if I am gay due to that.
(I’m not implying that effeminate mannerisms indicate being gay, or vice versa. But when I was 16, I did associate the two.)
As for me, I have never seriously considered being a girl, or being a transvestite, although for a laugh I have worn make-up, and also worn a dress… but that is beside the point. I have occasionally wondered what it would be like to be the opposite sex, but I don’t think I would get an operation just to find out… I like being a guy. However, males and females can share the same interests, and do the same things just as well. Female vocalists and Male vocalists, for example. Amy Lee and David Draiman. Both are amazing vocalists. Both genders can do the same things, and act the same way.
Anyway, my idea is don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, and since I’ve never been a transexual, I can’t truly say anything bad about it. I can only hope that all you transexuals/transvestites/hermaphrodites can find your niche in the world and be accepted for who you are.
I think all ideas, preferences and variations should be accepted for what they are, and should never have to put up with discrimination of any kind. Then again, I would think that way anyway, after being called a “retard” for a few years…
Transsexuality is all right to me, and I actually think some transsexuals are cool for that reason alone.
(Probably not a good enough reason to think someone are cool, though).
I know all to well how it feels to be trapped in a body you hate.
@shatterspike1: Probably because most open-minded people know that they would just be getting themselves into a losing argument, by voicing their opinion.
With some people, there is just no spark to ignite. When I think I’m dealing with someone like that, I don’t even waste my time. I feel pitty for them, but leave them to their miserable existence.
EDIT: Oh, and to stay on topic: I don’t think any of us are assigned a gender at our core. Once we are released from this hormone/chemical stricken body, we are simply ourselves. I can’t fault anyone for thinking that they might be more comfortable in another role. I’m sure it is not a conscious decision for them.
@Bonaparte1812: Imagine you are stuck working at a gas station to make a living, but deep down inside, you know you really want to be an artist. Does that mean that wanting to be an artist is a defect, or wrong? Should the individual not dislike their job behind the counter?
Poor analogy, I know. Best I could come up with for you.
In a sense you are correct, Bonerparte. Transexualism means that your brain is wired as one gender, but your physical body is another. So one might consider it a defect, a psychological and/or physical problem, but why is it wrong? I assume you find it moral and OK to have “defects” like depression and schizophrenea, so why not transexualism?
Recent theory is now proporting that transexualism has biological roots. Many of the psychological causes put forward by the scientific community have failed to be applied to a majority, or even a sizeable minority, of transexual individuals. Some evidence for the biological roots of transexualism lies in individuals who were sexually reassigned at birth, due to genital complications(now if those two words don’t rouse your inner junior high student, I don’t know what will), who experience gender dysphoria and transexualism. A study done in 1997, which can be found here, shows that transexuals display a neuron density in the central subdivision of the Bed Nucleus of the Stria Terminalis region (BSTc), similar to members of their target gender. Another study, found here, shows that prior to having hormone therapy, a transexual has a brain structure matching that of their genetic sex. Several animal studies have demonstrated that exposure to cross-sex hormones during certain stages of fetal development can reliably produce cross-sex behaviors in animals. And really, I could go on and on. But I won’t, I’ll wrap up the science mumbo-jumbo and direct a question in Bonaparte’s general direction - what is so wrong about having a condition that you did nothing to cause, and taking measures such as cross dressing and sexual reassignment surgery, to help them feel better about it?
). It’s great to have so many open minded people on this forum.
daylight, that second part is quite an interesting read. I don’t quite understand it but i suppose that that’s a little too much to wrap my head around right now
all day