this joke may be found in bad taste by some veiwers so if you want to read it go ahead
[spoiler]there was onc a boy who lived on a farm and one day he woke up and was angry. But non the less he did his daily tasks. heres how it went
when he was milking the cows, he kicked the cow
when he was getting the eggs from the chickens he kicked a chicken
when he was feeding the pigs he kicked a pig
he went inside expecting his reward, a hardy breakfast but instead all he found on his plate was an apple. he asked his mom why and she said
because when you milked the cows you kicked one so no milk
when you got the eggs from the chicken you kicked one so no eggs
when you fed the pigs you kicked a pig so no bacon
and as she was finished telling him this his dad walked in the room and kicked their cat. and the boy said
you want to tell him or should i?[/spoiler]
also heres one i like to call “Tricking the machine”
[spoiler]the was a guy who had a huge pain in his elbow and he had heard from a friend that in a store there was a machine that if you brought your urine to it it would tell you what was wrong to 100% accuracy. so he peed in a bottle and took it there and a slip of paper came out it said.
you have tennis elbow keep it on ice it should go away
so he went home and thought… Hey! im going to try and trick this machine so he got his dog to urine in a bottle along with his wife and his daughter, put some tap water in it. and to really confuse it cummed in it.
so the next day he went back to the machine and it said
you dog has worms call a vet, your wifes pregnant its not yours, call a lawyer your daughter has an STD call a doctor, your water has large quantities of lead in it call a plumber, and if you keep masturbaiting your tennis elbow will never get better![/spoiler]