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That one, beautiful moment

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Rhewin
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That one, beautiful moment
PostPosted: Mon 01 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

LD's have always been a quest to me. It was the Holy Grail that I was journeying toward, having to fight off a brute of a monster the whole way. This monster was, of course, my subconscious. The villan would do everything in its power to prevent me from becoming lucid, going so far as to send dream characters to distract me right as I was questioning reality or about to do an RC.

If you read my old posts, you'll find various different times where I've stated that my SC hates me, and doesn't want me to have freedom over my dreams. I took comfort in reading about other people with this problem; I knew that I wasn't alone. In a sense, I'm writing this for everyone who feels/felt the way I did.

You see, my SC decided to screw everything up. Last night I had an LD in which I was sure I was not dreaming. I didn't even feel the need for an RC, until a DC which I thought was my little cousin (looking back she looks nothing like her) asked me "just because you can feel it, does it mean that it's real?" Bam! Lucid.

It didn't hit me until later, but I didn't fight for this LD. It was given to me. You see, I've always believed that all DC's (other than those created for CALD) are controlled by our SC. Even if that's not true, I am quite sure that the DC I spoke to last night was straight from my SC. It came to me in the form of a little girl and said the only thing I needed to hear.

Even right after the LD in question, I had another dream which induced SP. I've never been able to induce SP in my entire life. The HH threw me off, so I wasted my chance, but it leads to the same conclusion as my previous dream.

As I sit hear typing, the realization is both beautiful and humbling. This thing I have been fighting desperately against has been my friend the entire time. I feel... I don't know. But I am certain my LD's will come much easier now that I'm no longer antagonist against... well, myself.

And that's the thing. Our SC is a part of us, as vital as our actual conscious mind. If we see it as the enemy, then we're only seeing ourselves as such. There's no way that can be healthy.

Anyway, I hope this helps out some of the others out there who also see their SC as the bad guy or as a road block. If you've has a similar experience, I'd love to hear it, and I'm sure that will only help the others as well.



Current LD goal(s): Defeat Xander in our lucid duel!


Last edited by Rhewin on Tue 02 Mar, 2010; edited 1 time in total
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mattias
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Re: That one, beautiful moment
PostPosted: Tue 02 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

Rhewin wrote:
And that's the thing. Our SC is a part of us, as vital as our actual conscious mind. If we see it as the enemy, then we're only seeing ourselves as such. There's no way thatcan be healthy.


This makes total sense to me wink I believe it's not possible for your SC to hate you. If you think about it, it's not a separate entity, it is you. So the only way for it to hate you would be something close to low self esteem and that's something only the conscious mind does

Anyway, I've had a similar epiphany, as I might have posted many times already. I noticed I was trying to convince my SC I wanted to LD. But it knew that and still knows. The problem was and still is my conscious mind thinking it knows what must be done and getting in the way! I now believe that getting the conscious mind to get and stay out of the way is a very important thing when it comes to LD'ing.

Now that we know that the brute of a monster is on our side I hope we reach the Grail soon! :D


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x Puffycloud x
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PostPosted: Tue 02 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

Quote:
This thing I have been fighting desperately against has been my friend the entire time. I feel... I don't know. But I am certain my LD's will come much easier now that I'm no longer antagonist against... well, myself.


This statement is so true, and this topic has helped me to realize that I shouldn't be battling to have LDs, my SC knows what to do. For a while this past week I felt like my SC was working against me. My recall is horrible and lately I've been easily distracted in my dreams. Thanks for posting this ^^ It was quite helpful.



Current LD goal(s): Increase length, talk to my subconcious.
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tosxyChor
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PostPosted: Tue 02 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

Wise words, bro.
I learned to be surprised, too, at how much our SC tries to help us throghout, and we just refuse its help, or are too distracted by our thoughts to even notice.

Our SC actually directs every action we are not directly aware of, such as driving when we're thinking of something else, or even walking down the road. So, how can we call such a helpful part of us an enemy?

I learned that if I wasn't having lucids, it was only my mistake, am istake of the conscious, it was me that wasn't paying attention enough to bother, plus I was genuinely scared of becoming a better person. The world of possibilities was wide open to me, and I was shunning it. It's amazing, how one can seek stillness, or better stagnancy, for its sake.

I learned that in order to get lucid, I would have to drop the way of thinking, of living I usually possessed, cause there would be no place for doubts in the realm where what I think is what is.
So I learned to adapt to the way of thinking that's characteristic of dreams, bringing it into wake, and the easiest way it could be done was obviously, recalling dreams. The more I dove deep into them, the more I recognized they were far different from ordinary thinking, the daily thinking that only knows how to think in circles.

Not only that, but with those dreams my SC was showing me (and still does) what were the things that bothered me, what were my problems, the way my reasonings really work, so I could understand myself, in order to change deeply and permanently. It was necessary for me to undergo deep shifts, and I resolved to accept them, and go through them.

Now I can say I'm a very different person since 6 months ago, and I'm sure there is a lot more to come, but my SC guides me through it, cause I accepted its guidance. I hope you will do the same too. smile



Current LD goal(s): Healing
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Rhewin
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PostPosted: Tue 02 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

@mattias: We'll get there soon enough grin

@x Puffycloud x: Glad to know it was helpful. I'm still getting used to the idea myself. It's hard to live up to the fact that I'm the reason I lose out on so many LD's.

@tosxyChor: Always a pleasure to hear your insights smile. Actually, reading some of your experiences and insights helped me get back into lucid dreaming when I was just a lurker around here. Thanks for the reply ^^



Current LD goal(s): Defeat Xander in our lucid duel!
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primatech
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PostPosted: Tue 02 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

All four of these posts are both very deep and very enjoyable. It's definitely awesome when a post resonates with where you're at at a given time, and this one resonated with me, as well it seems it did with the rest.

I liked what was written about the SC being you. Seems true, that the vestige on top may be what you believe to be you, but the lasting 'you' might be the SC.

@tosxy: do you mean "The world of possibilities was wide open to me, and I was shunning it. It's amazing, how one can seek stillness, or better stagnancy, for its sake." that it's amazing how one can seek stillness in order to access (essentially) infinite possibility?

this thread, reminded me of the pleasures of sticking with something, and i hope to post in this forum for a long time to come, because there are good people here and the potential for growth is (corny cap-off following) INFINITE!


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219346656783921
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PostPosted: Wed 03 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

Yes! I've seen a lot of this kind of message lately, and it's so encouraging! It's more than just mere positive thinking (which battles with doubt all the time, in my case), it's the truth - there's no sense making yourself your own worst enemy. smile

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Mourningstarr
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PostPosted: Wed 03 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

the better you know your locus of control, the less anxiety when its time for change

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Rhewin
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PostPosted: Wed 03 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

To further prove my point, here is an excerpt from my most recent DJ.

Quote:
I pick up my DJ to write the previous dream down, and notice I'm on my last page. I start to write keywords, and I notice that my handwriting is impossible to read. I go back and write more clearly. I then notice I am somehow writing on the cover of my journal. In RL, it's a blank cover, but this one has big embossed letters on it saying "Reality Check." I miss the cue and don't do one.


Seriously, my SC did everything it could minus sending a DC to slap me and tell me I'm dreaming. This is a perfect example of my conscious mind being the one to miss out on an LD.

Oh, and well said Mourningstarr smile



Current LD goal(s): Defeat Xander in our lucid duel!
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tosxyChor
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PostPosted: Wed 03 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

primatech wrote:
that it's amazing how one can seek stillness in order to access (essentially) infinite possibility?

No, actually the opposite: I was clinging to keep the same, because I was afraid of change. I has some issues with the whole thing at the time, and I was running away from this kind of improvement, so I was just keeping myself down.

If you think you can't do something now, while you want to accept the possibility, you have to change that wink but habit is a bad mistress, and fighting it requires daily application. So do yourself a favor, and resolve to become a better person each day you are given on this Earth ^^

"Every day, in every way, I'm getting better, better and better!"



Current LD goal(s): Healing
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primatech
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PostPosted: Thu 04 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

Are you saying that a supposed route to more possibilities (seeking stillness as in your quote: "To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." - Lao Tzu ) as commonly heralded as seeking stillness can lead you into the same pitfalls of monotony as other routes? This seems like a complicated statement (to me) so I'm just trying to figure out what you're trying to say, and thank you for entertaining my questions.

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Mourningstarr
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PostPosted: Thu 04 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

primatech wrote:
Are you saying that a supposed route to more possibilities (seeking stillness as in your quote: "To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." - Lao Tzu ) as commonly heralded as seeking stillness can lead you into the same pitfalls of monotony as other routes? This seems like a complicated statement (to me) so I'm just trying to figure out what you're trying to say, and thank you for entertaining my questions.
so is whats being said this: don't seek stillness, instead live life to the fullest and find stillness in whats being done?


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tosxyChor
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PostPosted: Thu 04 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

Stillness of mind and stillness of life are very different things wink5
A still mind is a mind free from wandering thoughts, that can accomplish any feat with ease and focus.
A still life, on the other hand, is a wasted one. We were given a wonderful mind + body, and it's our mission to get the best out of the gifts we've been given smile



Current LD goal(s): Healing
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primatech
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PostPosted: Sat 06 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

i hear ya

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iamus
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PostPosted: Sun 07 Mar, 2010  Reply with quote

This thread makes a lot of sense to me. Just like you say Rhewin, the subconscious is a good pal, and always wants to do its best by you. It's the conscious mind that's always getting in the way though. The subconscious always speaks quietly in the background without trying to raise its voice because it knows what it's saying is sound. The conscious mind likes to jump up and down and wave its arms about and talk over the subconscious and drown it out because it's insecure about the quality of what it has to say. The conscious mind's biggest trick is confusing you to the point that you can't tell either of them apart, and it's dead good at it. I think that in all aspects of life, if you learn to close your eyes and filter out the noise of one when you don't need it and learn to trust the other (even if it doesn't seem to make logical sense), you can only grow.


Rhewin wrote:
Seriously, my SC did everything it could minus sending a DC to slap me and tell me I'm dreaming. This is a perfect example of my conscious mind being the one to miss out on an LD.


I've still only got one proper fully-lucid dream, one or two partials, but I'm getting a lot of dreams of late that seem to be screaming at me from all angles to cotton on and catch the hell up. I've been unable to get them typed up for here though, due to low internet access, and I'm gettin lazy in writing them in my Journal. Currently I have about a weeks undated dreams spread over different bits of paper (that's a job for me to fix tonight).

Funnily enough, one of these dreams was Doctor Who themed (being a big fan, I have a wee bit of dream history with that too) and involved the new Doctor and assistant on an adventure. The framing of the dream was that it was the start of the new series, and I was a bit unsure as to whether it was going to work or not writing-wise. Eventually, the "episode" seemed to have been going on all night without any sort of narrative thread being revealed. The Doctor and Amy were in an office searching through all sorts of drawers and knick-knacks trying desperately to find something, anything, that was going to kick-start the story and get things moving. When I woke up I was absolutely sure that the dream was all one big message from my subconscious, full of stuff I would never see in WL, telling me to get lucid so that the dream could actually get going and take me someplace useful.

The other one recently, I posted here. I think this dream ties in with my first lucid dream, which involved flying and a dream guide from a long time ago too, who was kind of beckoning me out to play.


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