Recently I realized a big flaw in my personality. Well, I always knew it, but it recently got a lot stronger. I seek to become a much calmer person. I used to be calmer back at the start of highschool, but now I’m very prone to stress and anger. I get angry very fast, and sometimes I can’t control myself. If somebody raises his voice on me, I am more likely to scream back at the person. I get very angry inside if somebody decides that we have to do something I’m not too happy about, I get very angry inside if somebody is changing my plans. I’m just…angry.
The only thing that calms me down is music and some time alone, but that’s something to do after. I want to change myself, I want to become calmer in my life, I know I’m hurting people I love now.
a suggestion could be, the moment something angers you, stop yourself, take a few deep breaths, realize why you are upset, and before you yell or rage at someone, tr to realize your actions, how you might come off to people or upset people, try to change the situation into a better one, drink some warm tea? goodluck D:
get deeper into your emotions and try to figure out what exactly makes you angry… everyone comes with a limit to cope up with stress and you are probably pushing that a bit too far…if you are dead sure that you are unable to control yourself, then try to control change those things which cause your anger…like your interests, hangout buddies etc…
meditation might be of some help…do exercise…get healthy food…
and dont think of it as a flaw…i mean its ‘you’…so i suggest whatever it is, just accept it…
I’m getting into medidation, maybe it will help me calm down.
Until recently, I thought that my exam session is stressing me out. But I finished it a few days ago, and passed all exams, but I’m still very stressed out. I don’t know, maybe its my trip abroad, I wasn’t too happy about it at first, but I’m ok with it, so it shouldn’t anger me now.
Sometimes I know that I can’t control myself. Sometimes I feel the anger growing in me, but I supress it in time, but sometimes I just can’t.
I don’t completely agree, letting he’s anger out is the reason why he’s hurting people he loves, he said so himself.
Like many others already mentioned, including WCH. Art can be a very good way to express/release/control (you name it) it.
Also when you feel anger building inside your body due to any cause, stop for a momment and think first, in your mind, just stop everything and think for a second. Sometimes you’ll see that after you’ve done your thinking, the anger usually goes away or becomes lesser.
Practice meditation or just relax 5-30 min a day.(this will reduce your stress level, but wont help you in the heat of the moment)
Make MC’s (mind characters) using the CALD technique, but have them keep you rational in times of anger. (I do this)
Study a bit of NLP and self-hypnosis. Too often people blame outside forces for their emotions, when in reality its all you, and you can control them. (maybe your best bet)
I take it back, all my advice is wierd advice. Oh well.
Thanks for the replies guys, some good advice here.
As for art, I’m a musician, and it helps me sometimes to channel my emotions through guitar, good gigs with my band always give me a good morale boost
I medidate now, listen to music and take walks in the forest nearby, this helps me to vent off, but I’m still pretty vunerable when a heated moment comes (especially during arguments). I know that its normal to be angry during arguments, but I used to be much calmer during those.
I need to lay back a little, and try to think about the causes of my frustration.
Walks on forests , damn man I envy you , there’s hardly any forest nearby. I’d wish I could be able to walk everyday in a forest listening to my favorite soothing music
Anyways, you say you used to be more calmer before, what could be the reason(s) of why that’s not the case anymore ?
I think its the lifestyle change, growing into adulthood. Life was more care-free in highschool, maybe its the responsibility that freaks me out. Maybe its my family, for the past year everybody in this house is fighting all the time, and this makes me angry as well.
what works wonders for me is to breath through the left nostril a bit by closing off the right one
it can make you sleepy though if you are low on energy , if you are high on energy then it is useful .
try five breaths through the left nostril, then hold the breath at the inhale and exhale through the right once . MELLLLLLOWWWWWWW
( or do moongazing 20 minutes a night ) , not that i expect everyone to “believe” it but you can try it it works !
and to balance both hemispheres and states of mind , alternate nsotril breathing.
left nose - mellow, sleepy , lunar, incredibly calm and divinely serene
right nose - energized, active, solar, masculine ,
alternate nostril breathing - ( in left out right in right out left repeat ) equanimity , total balance, its hard to give it a word , its not “calm” because it has within it perfect balance and uniformity in feeling wonderful.
if you ever feel depressed breathe through the right nose until you feel better, in bouts of 5 if it is boring, you will be energized in a timely manner.
Ask yourself “What will be important 5 years from now?” or 10 years from now… In that light, most things really aren’t worth getting upset about… Smiling can also help lighten your mood – a real smile, not a fake one… Hakuna Matada!
goodluck D:
, there’s hardly any forest nearby. I’d wish I could be able to walk everyday in a forest listening to my favorite soothing music 
Hakuna Matada!