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Becoming a calmer person

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worm
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Becoming a calmer person
PostPosted: Tue 14 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

Hello LD4ALL, its Worm again.

Recently I realized a big flaw in my personality. Well, I always knew it, but it recently got a lot stronger. I seek to become a much calmer person. I used to be calmer back at the start of highschool, but now I'm very prone to stress and anger. I get angry very fast, and sometimes I can't control myself. If somebody raises his voice on me, I am more likely to scream back at the person. I get very angry inside if somebody decides that we have to do something I'm not too happy about, I get very angry inside if somebody is changing my plans. I'm just...angry.

The only thing that calms me down is music and some time alone, but that's something to do after. I want to change myself, I want to become calmer in my life, I know I'm hurting people I love now.

LD4ALL, could you help me become a calmer person?


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kayfire
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PostPosted: Tue 14 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

a suggestion could be, the moment something angers you, stop yourself, take a few deep breaths, realize why you are upset, and before you yell or rage at someone, tr to realize your actions, how you might come off to people or upset people, try to change the situation into a better one, drink some warm tea? smile goodluck D:

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avizdreamin
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PostPosted: Tue 14 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

get deeper into your emotions and try to figure out what exactly makes you angry.. everyone comes with a limit to cope up with stress and you are probably pushing that a bit too far..if you are dead sure that you are unable to control yourself, then try to control change those things which cause your anger..like your interests, hangout buddies etc..

meditation might be of some help...do exercise..get healthy food...

and dont think of it as a flaw..i mean its 'you'...so i suggest whatever it is, just accept it..



Current LD goal(s): Deep conversation with a dream figure...
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worm
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PostPosted: Tue 14 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

I'm getting into medidation, maybe it will help me calm down.

Until recently, I thought that my exam session is stressing me out. But I finished it a few days ago, and passed all exams, but I'm still very stressed out. I don't know, maybe its my trip abroad, I wasn't too happy about it at first, but I'm ok with it, so it shouldn't anger me now.

Sometimes I know that I can't control myself. Sometimes I feel the anger growing in me, but I supress it in time, but sometimes I just can't.


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BeRightBack
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PostPosted: Tue 14 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

Some martial arts can be good tool to channel your aggression

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Scarecrow
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PostPosted: Tue 14 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

Don't supress anger, for obvious reasons. If you have anger, let it out.

Might I suggest you use art to express it?

Just scream, cry, etc. Let it out.



Current LD goal(s): Have an SD with that cute little crow.
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FretDancer
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PostPosted: Wed 15 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

working class hero wrote:
Don't supress anger, for obvious reasons. If you have anger, let it out.

Might I suggest you use art to express it?

Just scream, cry, etc. Let it out.


I don't completely agree, letting he's anger out is the reason why he's hurting people he loves, he said so himself.

Like many others already mentioned, including WCH. Art can be a very good way to express/release/control (you name it) it.

Also when you feel anger building inside your body due to any cause, stop for a momment and think first, in your mind, just stop everything and think for a second. Sometimes you'll see that after you've done your thinking, the anger usually goes away or becomes lesser.



Current LD goal(s): Explore Area 51, Go to the moon, Explore New Zealand and Egypt.
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Ninja
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PostPosted: Wed 15 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

Well, my wierd advice first
1. Practice meditation or just relax 5-30 min a day.(this will reduce your stress level, but wont help you in the heat of the moment)
2. Make MC's (mind characters) using the CALD technique, but have them keep you rational in times of anger. (I do this)
3. Study a bit of NLP and self-hypnosis. Too often people blame outside forces for their emotions, when in reality its all you, and you can control them. (maybe your best bet)
I take it back, all my advice is wierd advice. Oh well.


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Scarecrow
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PostPosted: Wed 15 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

FretDancer wrote:
I don't completely agree, letting he's anger out is the reason why he's hurting people he loves, he said so himself.


I didn't say he should let it out in a way that would hurt anybody.

I said he should let it out so it doesn't hurt himself. Supressing anger can't be healthy in the long run.



Current LD goal(s): Have an SD with that cute little crow.
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worm
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PostPosted: Wed 15 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

Thanks for the replies guys, some good advice here.

As for art, I'm a musician, and it helps me sometimes to channel my emotions through guitar, good gigs with my band always give me a good morale boost smile

I medidate now, listen to music and take walks in the forest nearby, this helps me to vent off, but I'm still pretty vunerable when a heated moment comes (especially during arguments). I know that its normal to be angry during arguments, but I used to be much calmer during those.

I need to lay back a little, and try to think about the causes of my frustration.


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kayfire
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

another thing that really helps is excercise such a jogging and or swimming smile

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FretDancer
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

worm wrote:
Thanks for the replies guys, some good advice here.

As for art, I'm a musician, and it helps me sometimes to channel my emotions through guitar, good gigs with my band always give me a good morale boost smile

I medidate now, listen to music and take walks in the forest nearby, this helps me to vent off, but I'm still pretty vunerable when a heated moment comes (especially during arguments). I know that its normal to be angry during arguments, but I used to be much calmer during those.

I need to lay back a little, and try to think about the causes of my frustration.


Walks on forests , damn man I envy you sadblauw , there's hardly any forest nearby. I'd wish I could be able to walk everyday in a forest listening to my favorite soothing music cry

Anyways, you say you used to be more calmer before, what could be the reason(s) of why that's not the case anymore ?



Current LD goal(s): Explore Area 51, Go to the moon, Explore New Zealand and Egypt.
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worm
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Sep, 2010  Reply with quote

I think its the lifestyle change, growing into adulthood. Life was more care-free in highschool, maybe its the responsibility that freaks me out. Maybe its my family, for the past year everybody in this house is fighting all the time, and this makes me angry as well.

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PostPosted: Mon 18 Oct, 2010  Reply with quote

what works wonders for me is to breath through the left nostril a bit by closing off the right one

it can make you sleepy though if you are low on energy , if you are high on energy then it is useful .

try five breaths through the left nostril, then hold the breath at the inhale and exhale through the right once . MELLLLLLOWWWWWWW

( or do moongazing 20 minutes a night ) , not that i expect everyone to "believe" it but you can try it it works !

and to balance both hemispheres and states of mind , alternate nsotril breathing.

left nose - mellow, sleepy , lunar, incredibly calm and divinely serene
right nose - energized, active, solar, masculine ,
alternate nostril breathing - ( in left out right in right out left repeat ) equanimity , total balance, its hard to give it a word , its not "calm" because it has within it perfect balance and uniformity in feeling wonderful.

if you ever feel depressed breathe through the right nose until you feel better, in bouts of 5 if it is boring, you will be energized in a timely manner.


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ivi
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PostPosted: Fri 22 Oct, 2010  Reply with quote





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