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How do you greet someone in your culture?

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Magnus
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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Can't say for Sweden but I can say for me, first meeting is handshake, relatives is hug, friends varies by who it is and when we will next see each other again.

Ok, tiny interesting thing, where I live, if you are out walking for example and meet a stranger you say Hi wink5



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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Britain is extremely detached when it comes to greetings. either the handshake and generic "Nice to meet you" Which generally doesn't actually mean that you are pleased to meet them, it's more of a judgement thing. If the handshake is limp and weak then it can be assumed they don't really have a care to be there, if it's firm then there grows an instant respect and likeness. In a lot of cases as time goes on though I notice that inclination of the head is more common now a days followed by an "Alright mate."

When friendships are involved girls will generally tacklehug guys and girls alike. Guys will handshake or man hug depending on time between last meeting and closeness.

I had a french buddy who came here once and I swear in that first meeting I kissed her more times than i kissed my girlfriend that day, XD left, right, left, right. According to friends that have seen her since the kissing gets more times each time. XD

So yeah there's some further insight into the British psychie.



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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Ebilshrimp wrote:
. In a lot of cases as time goes on though I notice that inclination of the head is more common now a days followed by an "Alright mate."


I forgot head nods! And it's not really a downward nod like the way someone says yes. It's an upward nod, like you're pointing your chin to the person. It's mostly done when you're greeting someone you know from a distance, instead of close up. We use to do it in school during assembly, with an expression that said "I see and acknowledge that you are actually here today". But I have seen it done in bars and between men with the "Alright mate" being said, or just expressed in face. The expression with the nod means a different thing but always has direct eye contact.



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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

I don't think Fixato covered the whole greeting thing here for the Netherlands.

The three kisses are common, but not to people you meet for the first time! When you meet someone the first time you shake hands. If you are being introduced you can simply say hi or something like that. If there is nobody to introduce you you do it yourself. (Hi, I'm Ansie, Wulf's sister).

When I meet friends I see a lot (from university or so) we don't hug, we simply say hi. Friends I didn't see for a long time I hug. Some other people might hug a bit more among friends, but I think that is more for high school.

For relatives it is usually the same. If you see them often enough you just say hi. If you didn't see them for a while you might hug, or do the three kisses thing.

The three kisses thing is only between two woman or between a man and a woman and it is usually in combination with the handshake. This is not done if you have a more distant relationship with the woman. I suggest that if you don't know what to do as a man do this: Shake the hands of the men, and do the same thing for women. She can then start the three kissing thing and you just follow. Do NOT just pull her forward to kiss her even when she doesn't start XD

The most interesting greeting ritual from the Netherlands is during birthday parties. You start out by congratulating the person having the birthday, with the handshake and the three kisses. You then do the same with all the other people in the room, congratulating them with their sister/mother/cousin/girlfriend etc. This is the time that most people do the three kisses thing. At parties for students and high school students you can usually just say hi to the whole group at once though tounge1

Magnus wrote:
Ok, tiny interesting thing, where I live, if you are out walking for example and meet a stranger you say Hi

That we do here too sometimes. When you are in the city and you see people everywhere you don't do that. When you are in a park, forest or small village you do say hi.

I was in Stockholm this year and people there didn't seem to follow one rule for this. In the forest some people said hi and others didn't tounge2


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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Ansie wrote:
The most interesting greeting ritual from the Netherlands is during birthday parties. You start out by congratulating the person having the birthday, with the handshake and the three kisses. You then do the same with all the other people in the room, congratulating them with their sister/mother/cousin/girlfriend etc. This is the time that most people do the three kisses thing. At parties for students and high school students you can usually just say hi to the whole group at once though tounge1
Yes, so true! grin It is/should be covered in any book for people learning Dutch.

A couple of days before this topic was started I was meeting with my former roommate from Argentina. I hadn't seen him since I left there (about two years ago) and I was wondering. How do we greet each other eh

I really couldn't remember how exactly we greated in Argentina. I thought something with a hug and one kiss. I just remember it being weird quite frequently with international people. E.g. Do we do it Dutch style (3 kisses), French style (2 kisses) or Argentine style (1 kiss). It sometimes ended up in a weird mixture of all.

Moreover, when I came back to the Netherlands, I still had the habit of just giving one kiss as I did it quite frequently there. So upon re-uniting and seeing these people, it was kind of awkward when they tried to give three kisses and I wanted to stop after one out of habit.

Marvin, that sounds quite difficult to keep track of at your work. And sounds a bit awkward sometimes too.

I have not much to add about the Dutch style by FiXato and Ansie. Especially Ansie pointed out that it is highly contextual, but I guess that counts for everywhere?

The greeting is not only when you meet, but frequently also when you leave. Is that the case everywhere? This is not so much the case with parties, but for instance if you had dinner together or spend a considerate amount of time with a relatively small group, you kiss everybody three times on the cheek when you leave.

Another addition is that with very close people (actually only my mom & dad and only since "recently") I usually just give one kiss when I leave, close or on the mouth. I do nothing really when I arrive. I've noticed this with one of my friends too a long time ago, but I'm not sure if there are many others doing that...

Ansie wrote:
Magnus wrote:
Ok, tiny interesting thing, where I live, if you are out walking for example and meet a stranger you say Hi

That we do here too sometimes. When you are in the city and you see people everywhere you don't do that. When you are in a park, forest or small village you do say hi.
In general it is, in small villages and with "leisure"/"holiday (in nature)" --> say Hi (or the equivalent in the appropriate language). This is the case in all the countries I've been to. Of course not everyone says hi, but most people do.


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PostPosted: Tue 15 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Czaranis wrote:
In England we tend to just shake hands and say 'pleased to meet you' when greeting a stranger, or just say hi and/or wave to friends. I personally, however, use 'Y HALO THAR!' as a greeting/catchphrase.

True that:




mattias wrote:
Bruno discribed what happens in Brazil a lot better than I could. I personally feel awkward doing the cheek kiss thing with girls I don't know, specially if there are many of them overspannen . Mostly because I never know what's expected of me, so I rather just wave and look at my feet lach1

I tried to steer away from such oddities as slaps, slap-pounds, odd handshakes and other small group insider-greetings, as well as nods, bows, winks, waves, shoulder-grabs, arm slaps and other less common greetings.

And I didn't even get started on how Brazilians will VERBALIZE a greeting.


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PostPosted: Wed 16 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

In England, we have a variety of ways to greet each other. Some people, mostly men, will simply greet with a handshake, and saying "good to meet you." Women sometimes do cheek kisses, though this is mostly a formal thing.

Male greeting depends on a lot of things in Britain. Those things are as follows:

When greeting someone after meeting them for the first time, it is generally customary to shake hands, or just wave hello, and give the verbal greeting of choice, which is quite often either "How nice to meet you!" or "Good to see you again!"

If meeting someone you are more friendly with, handshakes or brief hugs are not uncommon, although they are not as common as other greetings, mostly due to some groups still seeing men hugging as being "a bit gay". Plus, British people tend to prefer personal space more than some other cultures.

When meeting someone of high class, such as perhaps the Queen, who likes to pop round every now and then for a cup of tea and a chat about the weather, we tend to bow.

When greeting someone you are close-ish friends with, hugs are slightly more common than before, mostly due to being more comfortable with them as a person.

When greeting a very close friend (of a young, working class background), it is customary to have a casual exchange of insults, followed by invading their space as much as you can, and implying that you have recently achieved sexual congress with their mother. The "bro-fist" will also suffice.



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PostPosted: Wed 16 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

The HB wrote:
When greeting a very close friend (of a young, working class background), it is customary to have a casual exchange of insults, followed by invading their space as much as you can, and implying that you have recently achieved sexual congress with their mother. The "bro-fist" will also suffice.

Name one urban area where this isnt true of a number of groups of young men.


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PostPosted: Wed 16 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Time to add how greetings are made here

When people meet for the first time or it is a teacher or a bigger person then you are expected to do the handshake as a formal greeting.

For relatives the most common way to greet each other are either hanshake or brief hugs.

Among friends just saying hi or if you know them well you can either do the "bro-hug" or hug, handshake works too, there is no rule here how to do it, just see how the other person wants to greet is a good idea tounge2

In university just saying hello or uphead-nodding is made, barely any contact is made among persons here, except if you have known the person for a very long time lachgroen

If it is someone you havent seen for a long that you know Quite well then hugging is expected tounge1

Also this pass by greeting Mag said is common in every village that is not in town-class tounge2



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PostPosted: Fri 18 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

I hug friends and shake hands with strange. Applies to both sexes.

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PostPosted: Sat 19 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Bruno wrote:
I tried to steer away from such oddities as slaps, slap-pounds, odd handshakes and other small group insider-greetings, as well as nods, bows, winks, waves, shoulder-grabs, arm slaps and other less common greetings.

And I didn't even get started on how Brazilians will VERBALIZE a greeting.


Oh yeah, informal greetings, with close friends can be pretty much anything. Specially with weird firends :D . I have an old school friend I always do this complex sequence of handshakes with. We started doing it in third grade and now it's just weird when we don't... eh


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PostPosted: Sun 20 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

The HB wrote:
When greeting a very close friend (of a young, working class background), it is customary to have a casual exchange of insults, followed by invading their space as much as you can, and implying that you have recently achieved sexual congress with their mother. The "bro-fist" will also suffice.


I'm not sure insults are reserved to just very close friends or the young. Although it does kinda indicate a trust between you, that you won't take offence. Things like "How are you doing you old #insult#?" The severity of the insult would indicate how close you were, the stronger the closer. Although with the older generation or with those who don't typically swear, using harder swears would probably cause some discomfort or offence. Variants involving sexual congress with their mother would probably be exclusive to the younger generation. It probably also does appear more in a working class environment.

Cheek kissing is something that tends to be between relatives or close female friends towards males from what I've seen. Especially female older relatives like grandmothers or aunts towards grandchildren etc. I did once have somebody I vaguely knew cheek-kiss greet, I wasn't happy about it to be honest and felt it a violation of my space. (I also didn't trust them because of past events, which probably didn't help things.) The number of kisses would probably vary, but might be 1-2 kisses alternating cheeks if more than 1. It might or might not also be exaggerated with "mwooooh" sound effects.

Quote:
While handshakes are quite common throughout the world, I also know there are some cultures where shaking hands is actually frowned upon (sometimes just between different genders, and sometimes regardless of gender). Does anyone have personal experience with this? Or perhaps even better: does anyone here feel awkward when someone tries to shake hands with them?


It's perhaps not quite the same thing, but I feel awkward when somebody wants to shake hands with me, but I know they are sick. Not seriously sick, I mean things like a cold or such. In such a situation it feels it would be better to say something like, "I would shake hands but I have a cold" or some such. Certainly if sick this is what I would do. It seems fair to me if you are sick to avoid contact if possible. I would be very annoyed if somebody tried to cheek-kiss me when sick like this.



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PostPosted: Tue 22 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Eilatan wrote:
Oh, what I also found odd about American greetings was that they always shook your hand and said "Nice to meet you". They all seemed very formal.

o.O I didn't really think about how ritualized it is here until you said it's abnormal.

Here in the... Upper Southern US(I guess? o.O ) A handshake and a "Nice to meet you *smile* " is pretty much the standard between strangers. If meeting a male authority figure, a firm grip is expected, if I'm meeting someone like... Oh, lets say my dads friend, trying to crush the other ones hand is expected. Male meeting a woman is firm but definitely not a hard squeeze.
Among friends it varies greatly between social groups, I know a lot of people around here sort of nod and say howdy (Not kidding). Most of my friends exchange hugs, shorter "bro hugs" between guys. Between two women or a man and woman it depends on the level of friendship. Of course if you see someone in passing a "Hey!" and a wave or something similar is acceptable.


Actually, a funny story with a friend of mine (Bad language involved, I'll use ** but still):
Walking down the hallway at my old high school and I see a kid I'd gone to school with for 5+ years but never really hung out with or knew very well at all comes down the hall way going the other way. We make eye contact and start to greet each other like you normally would in passing but for some reason, we both kindof looked at each other and exchanged grins and said "F- you Kaleb" and "F- you Devin" at the same moment and continued on our way, laughing as we did. We continued to greet each other this way for the remainder of the school year and in the few times we've seen each other since. The funnest part of the story to me is that prior to this, I probably wouldn't have said he was a friend, or that we had spoken in years. Somehow this was a bonding experience between us. lach1




Last edited by Slanderous on Tue 22 Jan, 2013; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Tue 22 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Slanderous wrote:
Eilatan wrote:
Oh, what I also found odd about American greetings was that they always shook your hand and said "Nice to meet you". They all seemed very formal.

o.O I didn't really think about how ritualized it is here until you said it's abnormal.

Among friends it varies greatly between social groups, I know a lot of people around here sort of nod and say howdy (Not kidding).


I forgot! They did that in Texas, too! And some actually wore cowboy hats and tipped them, seriously! Though, maybe they were just doing it to humor me.

Also, another weird things American's done. When you walked passed someone, if they knew you they'd say "Hi!Howareyou?!" all really fast while -still- walking passed you. By the time you stammer "I'm okay! Nice to see you" they're already gone. o.o It's like no one ever actually stopped, and if they did then only for a second. It was strange to me, because I'm so use to people actually being interested in conversing.



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PostPosted: Tue 22 Jan, 2013  Reply with quote

Well, an American would know that the exchange was going to happen this way, and react just as quickly wink5

Here it's more of a "Hey!" or a "Hey what's up!?" spoken pretty much simultaneously. Usually accompanied by a head nod or a quick wave.
Of course, girls from my high school perfected the "DEVVVIIIINNN!!!! *tacklehug and gone before I figured out who it was* x.x


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