I’ve seen a number of resentful and biased things over the years, but Mickey Mouse’s schemes really take the cake. I would like to start by discussing Mickey Mouse’s fairy tales, mainly because they scare me. The thing I’m the most frightened about is that if I had to choose the most heinous specimen from Mickey Mouse’s welter of rabid gabble, it would have to be Mickey Mouse’s claim that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one’s psyche is to detach individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity – family, class, private associations. Strange, isn’t it, how the most prudish crackpots I’ve ever seen are always the first to funnel significant amounts of money to hostile carousers? You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it’s too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: If we’re to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to take personal action and remind him about the concept of truth in advertising. Accompanying this recognition of the indeterminateness of verifiability with regard to an external, objective reality has been a crisis regarding our ability to know that Mickey Mouse somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. Also let me say that I overheard one of his followers say, “All major world powers are controlled by a covert group of ‘insiders’.” This quotation demonstrates the power of language, as it epitomizes the “us/them” dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to seek liberty, equality, and fraternity.
Although this has been overlooked or ignored by the established scientific community, Mickey Mouse’s habitués all look like Mickey Mouse, think like Mickey Mouse, act like Mickey Mouse, and create anomie, just like Mickey Mouse does. And all this in the name of – let me see if I can get their propaganda straight – brotherhood and service. Ha! The contemptible particularism I’ve been writing about is not primarily the fault of overweening common criminals, nor of the libidinous, pretentious blusterers who pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm. It is the fault of Mickey Mouse. His animadversions are in every respect consistent with the school of putrid thought that tends to use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of benighted, shabby finks. One can examine this from another angle, and plainly see that it’s our responsibility to provide a trenchant analysis of his stratagems. That’s the first step in trying to operate on today’s real – not tomorrow’s ideal – political terrain, and it’s the only way to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. The devil not only finds too much mischief for idle hands to do, but increasingly in our contemporary world, he causes ornery, supercilious Huns to crush any semblance of opposition to Mickey Mouse’s ethically bankrupt disquisitions.
Mickey Mouse hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What he lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that Mickey Mouse is not only immoral, but amoral. By the same token, he has been offering the worst sorts of xenophobic, slatternly personæ non gratæ I’ve ever seen a lot of money to create widespread psychological suffering. This is blood money, plain and simple. Anyone thinking of accepting it should realize that Mickey Mouse needs to stop living in denial. He needs to wake up and realize that he is begging the question when he says that he never engages in frightful, psychotic, or uncompromising politics. Let’s remember that. An inner voice tells me that if there’s an untold story here, it’s that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Mickey Mouse has lost what little credibility he once had. My peers maintain that we must stick to our guns and not let Mickey Mouse convince us that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. While this is really true, I assert we must add that by allowing him to sacrifice children on the twin altars of frotteurism and greed, we are allowing him to play puppet master.
It would be wrong to imply that Mickey Mouse is involved in some kind of conspiracy to create massive civil unrest. It would be wrong because his criticisms are far beyond the conspiracy stage. Not only that, but I’m not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like him want to provide unprincipled braggadocios (especially the brain-damaged type) with an irresistible temptation to pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development. Even with the increasing number of doctrinaire wackos, delusional proletariats (like Mickey Mouse) are not born – they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, when one examines the ramifications of letting Mickey Mouse replace our timeless traditions with his petty, contumelious ones, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that no matter how bad you think his witticisms are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. Perhaps Mickey Mouse has some sound arguments on his side, but if so, he’s keeping them well hidden; all the arguments I’ve heard from him are totally irresponsible.
If he opened his eyes, he’d realize that his followers amount to nothing more than truculent, ostentatious insurrectionists riding on the back of a social fungus attacking the body politic. Though malodorous gangsterism is not discussed in this letter, much of what I’ve written applies to that, as well. Mickey Mouse condones the garrulous commentaries that will mobilize support for the special interests that dominate state and private activity. His antisocial slogans are to politics what the blitzkrieg was to international diplomacy. This is not rhetoric. This is reality. The bulk of perfidious hatemongers are at least marginally tolerable, but not he. It’s fine to realize that there’s always been suffering in the world, and wrongs have been and will continue to be committed, but it’s more important to know that he claims that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. Well, I beg to differ.
What may seem insignificant or humorous to Mickey Mouse is often hurtful and confusing to others. And that’s why I’m writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to address a number of important issues. There’s no way I can do that alone, and there’s no way I can do it without first stating that he is absolutely determined to believe that it’s inappropriate to teach children right from wrong, and he’s not about to let facts or reason get in his way. There is a proper place in life for hatred. Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and valuable tool. But when Mickey Mouse perverts hatred in order to break the mind and spirit, castrate the character, and kill the career of anyone whose ideas he deems to be jaundiced, it becomes clear that if he is going to curry favor with abusive ratbags using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their “value”, their “importance”, their “educational mission”, and other impudent nonsense, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, he thinks nothing of violating the spirit of an indigenous people whose art and songs and way of life are proof that the only appropriate attitudes in a society overrun by pompous astrologers are fear and distrust. And second, if we turn random, senseless violence into meaningful action, then the sea of pauperism, on which he so heavily relies, will begin to dry up.
It seems clear that Mickey Mouse unquestionably dropped a clanger by admitting that in every country, there are hypersensitive dirtbags who are every bit as yawping as he. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that I have to wonder where Mickey Mouse got the idea that it is my view that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. This sits hard with me, because it is simply not true, and I’ve never written anything to imply that it is. He has a natural talent for complaining. He can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Due to the power relationship between the dominator and the dominated, if you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you’re wrong. Mickey Mouse’s opinions have kept us separated for too long from the love, contributions, and challenges of our brothers and sisters in this wonderful adventure we share together – life!
Mickey Mouse’s shenanigans are amalgams of popular themes among spiteful used-car salesmen, short-sighted scrubs, and eccentric soi-disant do-gooders. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that’s really the only way you can push a point through to Mickey Mouse. Alas, people often get the impression that brown-nosing ex-cons and Mickey Mouse’s lapdogs are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that Mickey Mouse’s eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that his blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur?) I will not say what is right and what is wrong when it comes to Mickey Mouse’s analects. But I will say one thing: I can easily see Mickey Mouse performing the following fork-tongued acts. First, he will turn over our country to scurrilous flakes. Then, he will canonize twisted menaces as nomological emblems of propriety. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind.
His ramblings are like an enormous gnosticism-spewing machine. We must begin dismantling that structure. We must put a monkey wrench in its gears. And we must prevent the production of a new crop of profligate boeotians, because if you don’t think that we have to consider all of our options, then think again. If Mickey Mouse wants to complain, he should have an argument. He shouldn’t just throw out the word “characteristicalness”, for example, and expect us to be scared. In all fairness, his bromides are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, he refers to a variety of things using the word “contradistinctive”. Translating this bit of jargon into English isn’t easy. Basically, he’s saying that hanging out with bookish, bleeding-heart hucksters is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. At any rate, his proposed social programs are worse than the Black Death of olden times. But there’s the rub; we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that his mottos are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. This belief is due to a basic confusion, which can be cleared up simply by stating that Mickey Mouse is too squalid to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that his assistants believe that profits come before people. It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that Mickey Mouse’s activities are on the up-and-up can believe anything, especially if it’s false.
Mickey Mouse’s whiney jeremiads keep a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to set the record straight. On a more personal note, I believe I have finally figured out what makes people like Mickey Mouse conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings. It appears to be a combination of an overactive mind, lack of common sense, assurance of one’s own moral propriety, and a total lack of exposure to the real world. His bedfellows portray themselves as fervent believers in freedom of speech and expression, but are loath to reveal that Mickey Mouse takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also ignores all of the evidence that doesn’t support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. Why don’t more people complain when they see him renege on an incredibly large number of promises? It’s because Mickey Mouse has mastered the art of tricking people with images and myths. He creates myths about what the world is like and then generates false images to match those myths. This proves to me, at least, that I cannot promise not to be angry at Mickey Mouse. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me – as it leads Mickey Mouse – to commit senseless acts of violence against anyone daring to challenge his effete put-downs. So you see, it would be more productive for Mickey Mouse to take a more diplomatic and conciliatory approach.
Hope I didn’t scare anyone there. I’m just playing around with this nifty little Automatic Complaint Generator that I found a couple of days ago. It actually makes some pretty interesting articles, and the entire thing is put together from randomly selected and altered sentences. You just enter a name, and a few other little options, and away it goes.
great one!
you got me scared there for a while Atheist!
instead of auto-directing. 
you scared the *** out of me! Magnificent post though