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the BIG Jokes topic Part II

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Kaitou Motif
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PostPosted: Fri 28 Oct, 2005  Reply with quote

It's supposed to show that she's not right in the head.

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Cid Silverwing
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PostPosted: Fri 28 Oct, 2005  Reply with quote

Oh...

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Magnus
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PostPosted: Mon 21 Nov, 2005  Reply with quote

Kenai told those to me
Do you know why the swedish have round houses? cos they dont want the dogs to wee on the corners

Why do the swedish carry cardoors in the desert? so they can open the window when it gets hot

And I told those to Kenai

A norwegian was visiting Great Britain and was driving around in his car when he hear on the radio that some idiot was driving on the wrong side of the road.
Then he said: One? I have seen hundreds of them

Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway?
They couldn't find three wise men.


In Sweden we tell stories about Norwegians being stupid and in Norway they tell stories about people from Sweden being stupid. And they funny thing is that it is the same stories.

I myself Have nothing against Norwegians



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Aikho
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PostPosted: Mon 21 Nov, 2005  Reply with quote

me niether not against swedish people either


not exactly a joke but... mabye not even fun but many jokes arent tounge1:

<Kenai> Anyone here?
<Rutt> im here tounge1
<Kenai> I know u are
<Rutt> realy... how?
<Kenai> i am you
<Rutt> you are?
<Kenai> yes... eh
<Rutt> oh...
<Kenai> ?
<Rutt> i didnt know...
<Kenai> you didnt?
<Rutt> nope...
<Kenai> oh...
<Rutt> ...
<Kenai> now you doo tounge2
<Rutt> yes..
<Kenai> colgate
<Rutt> thanks for telling me :D
<Kenai> no problem ^^
<FiXato> Kenai, please keep this room ontopic on dreaming only...
<Kenai> ok...
<Rutt> i will stop

*Change of Channel*

<Kenai> HELLO!!!
<Kenai> im so lonely
<Rutt> me too
<Kenai> i know
<Rutt> now i know im you so dont bother anoying me...
<Kenai> youre the one who is anoying
<Rutt> take your split personality to a different channel where im not!
<Kenai> why do you care
<Rutt> i dont!
<Kenai> well you seem quite angry
<Rutt> ahh... STOP bugging me!! cry
<Kenai> haha ebil
<Rutt> AAAHHH!!! grrr
<Kenai> youre getting angry
<Rutt> no im not hmm
<Kenai> yes you are...
<Rutt> nope hmm
<Kenai> YES You are!!! grrr
<Rutt> nope... sorry
<Kenai> youre driving me crazy!!! help!
<Rutt> haha!! now youre angry
* Kenai jumps off a cliff... landing on Rut
* Rutt broke his back
<Kenai> HAHA!!!
<Rutt> what you mean HAHA!!?
<Kenai> i luagh at you
<Rutt> how can you luagh at ur self?
<Kenai> i am...
<Rutt> have you forgot
<Kenai> forgot what
<Rutt> that we just was yelling at eacho..... aaa.....
<Kenai> ^^
<Rutt> :D

I find it quite amusing talking to myself


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Petter
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PostPosted: Tue 22 Nov, 2005  Reply with quote

lol !
Kenai !lach1


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Scotty Grumble
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PostPosted: Wed 23 Nov, 2005  Reply with quote

right phun talking to yourszelf when you yourself are responsing totally unnatural :D

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Aikho
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PostPosted: Wed 23 Nov, 2005  Reply with quote

You wrote allmost as bad as Painocus

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The HB
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PostPosted: Sun 22 Jan, 2006  Reply with quote

I know quite a lot of jokes. A few opf which may be classed as "In bad taste" so i won't post them. But here are the rest.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
What do you call a walk with no legs? A raisin.

Why did people worship the sock? Because it was Holey.

A man walked into a bar, he said "OWWWWWW!"

A man listened to the match, he burnt his ear.

@ Magnus. We have those sort of jokes aswell, just about irish people. Here is one of them.

An irishman gets locked in a food store overnight and starved to death.

How did the irishman break his leg when sweeping leaves? He fell out of the tree.

I'll stop the irish jokes now. I will now move onto Blonde jokes.

A man needed his porch painted. He called a painter and the painter came. She was tall, blonde and carried a ladder with her for the painting. He asked her to paint the porch, and she said okay and walked away to start the painting. 10 minutes later she returns and says she has done it. He gives her the money and she then says "By the way, that's not a porsche, its a ferrari!"



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Iluminada
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PostPosted: Mon 06 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

I love blonde jokes... roflmao

I'm not a joke person but a friend of mine told me this one:

If a girl with big boobs can work at Hooters, shouldn't a girl with one leg work at IHOP?!


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Wolf
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PostPosted: Mon 13 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

lach1 Never heard that one before. ^^

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dsystemofadownz
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

lol this isnt really a joke but its worth to read ok
-- Two different men were driving on different cars on a foggy night. ( fake story yet funny) Both cars were later discovered twenty feet from each other and were on the side of the road... The cars were not damages yet both men had bloody noses and brain-damage... the question is... what happened...

--answers--- it was foggy so both men stuck their heads out the window and eventually crashed heads with each other when driving by! biggrin


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Cid Silverwing
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

Here's a typical "norwegian, swedish and danish" joke, excluding the danish guy.

A norwegian and swedish guy were at the movies watching a western movie. Then the norwegian guy bet 100 kr that the indian would jump outta the rock and shoot the cowboy, the swedish bet against him. They watched on and the indian did jump outta the rock and shoot the cowboy. Then the norwegian guy says "Ah, forget the bet, I've watched the movie twice so it's not fair to bet. I knew what would happen.", then the swedish guy replies "Yeah, me too, and I never even had the slightest idea of the cowboy wanting to do the same mistake twice."


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moogle
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

lach2 That joke got to my sense of humour White Mage Cid - I'm really laughing out loud in real life instead of just smiling or groaning colgate


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The HB
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

Not really jokes but, just funny anyway.

Car accident claim statements (real, for definite)

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road,
and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment


And, 22 things you should never say to a policeman

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!

5. Didn't I see you get your *** kicked on COPS?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

8. Bad cop! No donut!

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

11. Excuse me...is stick up hyphenated?

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

13. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?

14. I pay your salary!

15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

16. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.

22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

Enjoy...



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The HB
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PostPosted: Sat 18 Feb, 2006  Reply with quote

Another joke...

There were these two brothers named Shut Up and Trouble.
One day, Shut Up couldn't find Trouble and so went out looking for him.
While he was looking, a police car drove by and stopped.
He asked, "Hi, kid, what is your name?"
The boy answered him saying, "Shut Up.
" The cop, trying not to get upset, again says,
"Answer the question, what is your name ?"
Confused, he replies, "Shut Up!"
The policeman, now getting very agitated says, "okay kid, are you looking for trouble ?
" Shut Up, very excited, answers, "yeah, have you seen him ?"



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