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the BIG Jokes topic Part II

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moogle
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the BIG Jokes topic Part II
PostPosted: Sun 21 Aug, 2005  Reply with quote

<mod> Post all jokes and funny stuff in here. Please don't post a joke as a separate topic in the forum. It will be locked and directed to this one. Thank you

This is a split topic Part I can be found here CLICK


The xxx jokes have been removed. Jokes do not need to be xxx to be funny.

This also counts for tasteless jokes. <mod>



Current LD goal(s): visit hippo in the labyrinth * ask DCs questions * shared dreaming with friends


Last edited by moogle on Tue 12 Apr, 2011; edited 3 times in total
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micro500
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PostPosted: Mon 22 Aug, 2005  Reply with quote

2 muffins are in the oven. 1 says to the other "man, its hot in here!" The other replys back "Holy $^&! a talking muffin!!!"

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Cid Silverwing
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PostPosted: Sun 28 Aug, 2005  Reply with quote

In the army, a private went to the sarge's office and asks "Why weren't you with us and ate in the cafeteria?" Then the sarge bursts "Oh $&|@!! My watch stopped! THen he ran down and hammered on the door "Lemme in! Lemme in! My watch stopped!!" Then the cook inside replies "Waddya think this is? A clock workshop?"



Last edited by Cid Silverwing on Sat 01 Oct, 2005; edited 1 time in total
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moogle
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PostPosted: Sun 28 Aug, 2005  Reply with quote

Q Why did the chicken cross the road, roll over in the dirt and then cross the road again?

A Because he was a dirty double crosser



Current LD goal(s): visit hippo in the labyrinth * ask DCs questions * shared dreaming with friends
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Wolf
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PostPosted: Sun 28 Aug, 2005  Reply with quote

gni

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Probobo
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PostPosted: Mon 29 Aug, 2005  Reply with quote

a husband and wife are pulled over by a cop on the highway and the cop says "do you know how fast you were going?" and the wife says "10 over the speed limit officer" the husband then says to his wife "be quiet okay!". the cop then points out his broken tail light and asks him when he was going to get it fixed and the husband responds "it just broke today. im going to get it fixed now" and the wife says "oh, that tail light has been broken forever and we aren't going to fix it today" "SHUT THE &*#@ UP!" grunts the husband. The cop said he was going to let them off but before leaving he asks the mans wife "does your husband always talk to you like that maam?" and she replies "only when hes drunk"

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Wolf
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PostPosted: Thu 01 Sep, 2005  Reply with quote

lach1 Never heard that one before! ^^

- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

- How to tell if you're driving too fast...


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Garlic
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PostPosted: Sun 04 Sep, 2005  Reply with quote

-What's the difference between roastbeef and peasoup?
anyone can roastbeef.

Here are some jokes that I have but they may offend, PM if you want to hear the punchline. And that Muffin joke, my friend came up with that joke in 2000 and sent it to an online company for a joke contest and he won the contest.

Here, I'll just tell the jokes and PM me for the punchline

-Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
-What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

To the mod, these jokes are not "xxx" but some may consider them in poor taste, which is why I'm not posting them. If you feel that they are too bad then just PM me and I'll edit the post(or you can do it)


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Cid Silverwing
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PostPosted: Sun 11 Sep, 2005  Reply with quote

What happened to the swedish guy who ate crabs for dinner?

He did the famous side-ways crab-dance...


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Wolf
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PostPosted: Fri 30 Sep, 2005  Reply with quote

Know what tomorrow is? Friday! Not Boilday, not Bakeday, FRY-DAY! 8D

That was SOOOOOOOOO lame... ^^

Here's another...

A guy through a football at a woman. He said he was making a 'pass' at her. mrgeen


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Qu
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PostPosted: Fri 30 Sep, 2005  Reply with quote

what about a french pastor joke wolb? too weird you posted a joke in this topic when i dreamt of you telling jokes.

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Petter
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PostPosted: Fri 30 Sep, 2005  Reply with quote

Heard of the two musicians and the drummer who walked into a bar ?

Any drummers here ?


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Iluminada
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PostPosted: Mon 03 Oct, 2005  Reply with quote

Okay, this isn't really a joke but it's the closes I can come to one.

For those culturally sensitive, I am proud of my culture and ancestry but sometimes funny is just that. Funny

>This is not to insult or offend our culture. >
>
>WHY LATINOS CAN'T BE TERRORISTS............
>
>1. 8:45 am is too early for us to be up.
>
>2. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights.
>
>3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
>
>4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
>
>5. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
>
>6. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons
down.
>
>7. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
>
>8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
>
>9. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before
doing
>it.
>
>MY FAVORITE.....
>
>10. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.


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Kaitou Motif
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PostPosted: Fri 28 Oct, 2005  Reply with quote

"I allways knew my mother hated me as a child, my bath toys were toasters and radios..."
----------
A man had three daughters, he is in the lounge one day and the eldest daughter walks in and asks
"Daddy, why did you name me Rose?"
"Because a rose petal fell onto your head when you were born" he replied
"Oh, okay then~" she responded and skipped out of ther room.
The second daughter comes in, her name is Teabag, she says:
"Daddy, why am I called Teabag?"
"Because your uncle dropped a teabag onto your head when you were born" he replied
"Oh, right.." she responded and walked out.
The third daughter enters, her name is Brick and she says:
"FaaUNGOOg"

(Sorry if that joke offends anyone..)


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Cid Silverwing
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PostPosted: Fri 28 Oct, 2005  Reply with quote

What was the "FaaUNGOOg" for?

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