Hi everyone, this is my first post… So hello! I’d like to share my experiences of sleep paralysis with you, as maybe it might help some people.
It all began when I was working very long shifts at work, day in, day out. I’d usually be up at 4:30am and not get back to bed until midnight. This was fine for a few days, but after a couple of weeks I was a physical wreck. Work was busy, I wasn’t eating enough (or getting enough exercise) and I was generally pretty stressed.
Then, one night, I suddenly awoke in the middle of the night. To my horror I was completely paralysed from head to toe! All I could do was move my eyes and look around the room. I was absolutely terrified, I didn’t know what had happened to me and couldn’t possibly imagine how I’d reached this state. I tried with all my might to call my housemate, but the best I could manage was a pitiful moan which only arose after minutes of painstaking effort. After what seemed to be minutes of effort to wriggle, I slowly regained movement as if I was shaking off some chains. I sat up with a start, dazed and confused, completely unaware as to what had happened to me and wondering if it was real.
Well, I felt ok and couldn’t see any reason for it to be real so I dismissed it as a nightmare and tried to forget about it. Unfortunately, so it seemed, it happened to me again, over and over and over. It came to the point where I dreaded going to sleep and starved myself of sleep as much as I could. However, I still couldn’t escape. It started happening to me when I was awake… I’d be there trying to concentrate on staying awake and suddenly I’d hear a rushing sound in my ears and my head would start to spin. Nine times out of ten I would realise what was happening and shake my head to prevent it. All the other times I’d suddenly find myself awaking from paralysis and thanking my lucky stars that I was still alive!
It got to the point where it was inducing itself every 15 minutes or so. I couldn’t go on like that, and thought I had no choice but to give in and let it run its course. By this time I knew that I would be asleep during this paralysis and that trying to move or trying to shout made no difference at all. So, before I drifted off I just imagined lying there and letting it go, in the hope that it might be over sooner if I didn’t resist.
Then came the rushing sound, I closed my eyes and my head began to spin. It span faster and faster and faster and then boom! I was standing in my old school playground (which I hadn’t seen for years) and there was nobody around. I knew I wasn’t awake because I knew that I should be paralysed by now. I didn’t feel frightened any more and was glad that I wasn’t paralysed. I thought about why I was dreaming about my school and pondered (in the same spot) for a moment. Then the rushing noise and spinning occured, and I suddenly took off the ground (like Superman!) and flew onto a minibus. If I hadn’t known that I was dreaming, I would have sworn it was so real! I could feel the air against rushing past me, and I even felt that the physics of my flight were somehow correct. Everything made sense in that sense that I was completely comfortable, but nothing made sense in the fact that I couldn’t explain it. After pondering for a few seconds more I started to spin again and fly around above the buildings. The rest I don’t remember, but I know that a lot more happened (I wish I could recall).
I began to let myself go every time now, and found myself with the ability to fly (and control it) in a whole host of situations… Swimming in the sea at high speed, chasing planes, etc. Some really weird stuff.
Soon after I regained control of my life, calmed down, got proper sleep and did more exercise. I stopped having sleep paralysis and I stopped having lucid dreams (or at least that I could remember). This was all two years ago.
The reason why I’m posting today is because I had sleep paralysis the other day, and it has rekindled my interest to the point where I have researched it some more. I think it was triggered because I have been having consecutive late nights as my degree thesis is due in a few weeks time. Sadly, I didn’t realise to let myself go during the experience as I wasn’t expecting it. It turned out to be just a horrifying as my early experiences, and it certainly scared me considerably.
So, my advice to anyone that has experienced this phenomenon to embrace it - you can turn a wholly unpleasant experience to one of wonder and awe. As a scientist I spend so much of my life trying to reach conclusions that I know are within science’s grasp: These sleep paralysis experiences seem to offer me a chance to escape a life where so many things have an answer, and to enter a world dominated by unanswerable questions, art and beauty.
I’m sorry if I’ve gone on a bit, I’m just excited to have found that I’m not the only one to have experienced this and that I’m not the victim of some kind of mental breakdown!
If anyone can relate to anything I’ve said then I’d love to hear from you.
Take care and nighty night,
Dan.
