Heck I say, love all people!! Everyone is different and everyone is the same… LOVE THE PEOPLE!!! PEACE ALLLLL!
FLOWER POWER FOR EVER 
& peace
Sorry, but I HAD to post this.Someone else would have anyway, I just wanted to be the first 
Traumgänger
shyness sucks. . . It is very extreme for me. I NEVER initiate a conversation with a girl. If I girl talks to me, I generally respond with a single word. The thought of talking with a cute girl scares the crap out of me. I have been very slowly getting better, but it’s still really bad. part of me doesn’t even want to date just because of my fear of talking to girls. It doesn’t help that there are very defined groups of different “popularity” around here. Naturally, the quiet ones tend to stick together and form the “loser” groups.
I think a lot of people often mistake my shyness for a lack of intelligence. In my freshman year of highschool, this girl I liked sat next to me in spanish. Because of this, I could not concentrate very well. The teacher would call on me and I would respond with “uhhhh. . … ummmm”, but I could not think straight. Later when one of my friends asked why she didn’t like me, she basically said I wasn’t very smart. It really sucks because my raging horomones are so contradicted by my shyness. I want a relationship more than just about anything, and I fear it more than anything.
yawn
Not trying to be insultive here but I mean, c’mon. Face the facts: Life is too short to waste on shying away from possibilities of happiness. When a girl looks at you, don’t worry about logic and instinct (which in this case suprisingly is to panic like someone’s gonna beat you…) and just go up to her and get her number and walk away.
How to get rid of shyness (despite your age): Start off at stores. Just go in somewhere and buy something… there people are paid to be friendly to you (basically).
Then, if you start understanding my drift of wasting oppertunities, just go up to people and say “Hi, I’m name, today I’m meeting new people, thanks for participating” and just walk away. Just for laughs I’ve done this myself and gotten some pretty positive feedback (like me starting to walk away and her pulling my arm to talk more).
The world is yours… don’t waste it.
Oh and as always, I highly recommend www.doubleyourdating.com for advice and great programs to boost self-esteem - worked for me 
And as always you can PM me your e-mail address and christmas will come earlier this year (with a special eBook about boosting self-confidence that helped me a shitload, only 400kb in size).
I understand what you’re saying about wasting oppurtunities. This one guy at school who is known for talking alot and acting strange in general explained his behavior by saying “we only live once. You should do what you feel like, and not worry about what other people think because it doens’t matter”. I agree 100% with him. The problem is when it comes time to act upon this belief, it just doesn’t happen. I think that, for outgoing people, it’s easy to think that shy people are only shy because they choose to be (sort of like overdramatizing one’s problem I guess). They think that it’s as simple as making yourself do it, and you can do it without much fear. This is because that is how it works for them. For us shy people, it’s not that easy.
For instance, in my chemistry class last year my lab partner was a VERY good looking girl. One day I told myself “I’m gonna say hi to her when she sits down, no matter what”. So she comes in, sits down, and I fail to say anything. I imagine that had I somehow managed to force the word out of my mouth, it would have been an embarrasing little squealing sound. I had even been thinking “what could possibly go wrong? at worst, she will say “uh. . . hi” unenthusiastically, then it’s over.” It didnt’ matter though, nothing could make me do it. man thats not good when I can’t say a one syllable word to a girl. . . It doesn’t help that in my less popular group of friends there is not a single female. That makes gaining experience just about impossible.
Well anyway, I just got a job and start working tomorrow. I’m hoping this will help my problem. I’ll also check out that site, chosenone.
I’ll do my best to avoid insulting you too, but I don’t think you quite understand the problem.
It’s just not a possibility for some of us to break away and begin spontaneously approaching random people to converse with. Being shy is a very indomitable condition, and it takes more than a brief contemplation of life to overcome it permanently. True, life is short, and you’ll never get anywhere keeping to yourself and passing up every opportunity as it comes along - but it’s the same as telling a person with arachnophobia that the particular spider on their head isn’t dangerous at all. Are they going to listen?
I gave up trying to work out how to overcome the problem. I’m satisfied with simply hiding away in my dark lair, only emerging for work, and when I require something that I can’t download from the internet. You might say “Hey, you’re wasting your life in there”, but I don’t see it that way anymore. I’d say you were wasting your life pursuing girls to fulfill life’s primary objective (yes, reproduction is the meaning of life), when you could be spending time by yourself and bettering skills that actually matter.
Defying humanity is fun.
Personally I think using a condom to defy humanity would be more fun.
You’re not defying humanity by using a condom, because you’re still succumbing to your primal instincts.
You’re defying humanity when you’re using a gun.
Atheist is right, it isn’t that easy to overcome, for the people that are seriously affected by it it can be terrifing to face.
I remember when I had a speech to do in English one time, when I got up the front I nearly vomited 
It may be easy to say “Today im gonna do it, today im gonna talk to them!” but when it comes to the crunch… nothing.
Like one time when someone I didn’t know asked me something and I tryed to reply, all that came out was a croking sound, because I was so scared someone was talking to me.
It isn’t easy.
For me it isn’t about what people think about me, I just fell extremly uncomfortable being noticed by other people.
er uh. . . good point. Although by eating you are also succumbing to your instincts. In fact, by seeking pleasure you are giving in to your instincts. Bummer, I guess you’re still human. Also, you said that the primary objective of life is to reproduce. Having sex with a condom is not reproduction (unless you get very unlucky). Therefore, having sex with a condom is not fullfulling your primary objective. You have cheated your humanity even more by experiencing the pleasure of sex without creating a loud, crying, screaming baby. In the end though, this really all comes down to opinion, so neither of us is truly correct.
You said it.
(Back to topic)
It was said earlier that people who aren’t shy are usually jerks. Clearly this was intended to cheer up some of the less outgoing members of the forum, but regardless, everyone slammed the author into the ground for it. Personally, I agree with him. Most of the guys I know who aren’t bound by limited self-confidence are complete jerks. There seems to be this inherent lack of sensibility that goes with being outgoing. I’m not saying this is the case in every situation, but the percentage is up there in the very high 90’s. I used to speculate when I was younger that being self-contained was a sign of intelligence, and to a large degree, I still stand by that.
Just my personal experience.
Atheist wrote,
Like what, masturbation?
Ha Ha Ha Ha! Thats a good one! This is one of your jokes right?
Once there was a fox who saw a tasty bunch of grapes hanging high above the path…aw, forget it. 
A joke? Nah, just a casual observation. I know a lot of guys who are generally quite shy, and I know a lot who aren’t. The more contained guys just seem to be better at working out problems, and can demonstrate more advanced academic skills. Probably a result of their condition, but it’s a pretty clear pattern. shrugs
You were right to joke. Try as I might, I can’t think of anything that I would consider to be a ‘worthwhile’ skill to take the place of mindless sex-hunting. So, go for it. Run about like animals in the night and pretend you’re a decent and caring guy, just to get as many girls as you can. Hey, why not? We’re all designed for it.
Athiest,
I think u make some good points but u also seem to stereotype. Being shy doesn’t mean anything and being outgoing also means very little. Each and every individual is different and displays different characteristics.
I myslef used to be shy but have learned to accept myself and love myself enabling me to love everyone and everything around me and now because i am outgoing i am still able to display all though characteristics i had when i was shy.
Everyon has to understand that keeping to yourself is not beneficial. By communicating with people, other animals and the environment u learn many things about life as well as yourself. By closing yourself of to these things and accepting that state is not healthy and not a way to continue your journey whichever way it might lead.
Nah, I don’t necessarily agree with any of that.
Outgoing people like to talk to others, while those that are shy generally prefer to deal with as few people as possible throughout the day. For me, I’d prefer not to have random people making small talk if I catch the bus, or do some shopping. I don’t think that means that I’m living a small and sorry lifestyle - I’m doing that for other reasons. 
I attend very few social gatherings, and those that I do, I find myself hiding behind those people who I intimately know. Does this mean I’m missing out on the ‘spice’ of life? Of course not, it just means I don’t enjoy parties to the same degree other people might. I talk to people in less confronting ways (like right now). I still enjoy comparing my opinions to others, and it’s not like I don’t have a few close friends that I see a few times a week.
How is my ‘journey’ on the wrong path simply because I’m uncomfortable around people I don’t know? I don’t actually want a girlfriend, so what’s wrong with my introverted lifestyle?
No matter what you do in your life, if it makes you happy, then your life has meaning. I don’t think that shy people miss out on oppertunities, I think (personaly) that such people don’t want the oppertunities that a more outgoing person wants, they seem more content with living the quiter life, and if it gives them joy, then they shouldn’t be critisized.
Getting girls (or proper girlfriends, for that matter) are a great side-product of not being shy.
The reason I suggested the Double Your Dating program is because even though its main focus is to get a person to shape their presentation of their personality as attractive, it also eliminates shyness by BOOSTING self-confidence.
No phobia is incurable, actually if you seek help for it you’re destined to get rid of it. Sitting down and saying “my problem is too big to solve, it’s too serious, it’ll take too much effort” are nothing but wussy excuses (no pun intended Athiest).
Just because I’M not shy doesn’t mean that the only thing I do is have sex sex sex (not saying I don’t pass the chance when I want to 
). Not being shy allows me to have FUN. Yes, I can talk to anyone at any time, make and tell jokes, have a laugh!
And also, by not being shy I can voice my opinion loud and clear in school, and later in life even possibly aquire a management role at work due to a “leader” attitude of life. Now just because I’m not shy doesn’t mean that I shout my mouth of everything and make people feel like shit, no: the truth couldn’t be more of the opposite.
I wasn’t always as straight-forward. I was shy myself when I was young, especially around the ladies since I wasn’t sure what they wanted. Over the years with practical experience and advice (dyd, double your dating program, had a big influence in my journey) and basically why I’m not shy anymore is because I’m self-aware, thus self-confident of my abilities and the need to improve myself is higher.
Living a life alone sounds odd, even if I enjoy solitude myself… but I would mentally suffocate if I didn’t have friends etc. to call upon in times of need or just to have a blast (or a necessary uplift, etc.).
(about that ebook, the guy asks 40$ which is far more than I give for a PRINTED book. Anyway I wouldn’t actually pay money for a thing like that. And don’t tell me about the free trial by giving your credit card number. I am NOT giving my credit card number to someone like that)
It’s like those mutliorgasmic sex books. It’s good to dload them and try them out, but I would never consider bying one. It just isn’t worth it. They’re 80-100 pages, and 90% of it is just gibberish: “after you try my method you will never have to worry again about <>” etc…
It’s great that you believe that, but really, it’s a matter of personal opinion.
Not only have I never said the problem was too big to fix, but I personally don’t even consider it a problem. I like being alone, and I’d appretiate people not trying to communicate with me everywhere I go. I must be the only person in the world who does want to be treated like a number, at the hand of cold, dead computers. 
I don’t want a management position further in my career. I just want to sit in a cubicle and get my work done, either by myself or with a small team. This is more-or-less what I do at the moment, and I’m happy with it. (I use the term ‘happy’ VERY loosly these days).
Perhaps if I ever wanted to meet new people, attract the attention of a girl, or further my public relations skills, I’ll consider doing something about my condition. Can’t see it happening though.
Well it’s one thing if you want to be lonely, but make sure that it’s not fear thats holding you back. Fears can shape preference which can make choices seem like opinions rather than just coward actions. I can talk all day on forums and chat rooms, especially in games. Yet when I get outside with people it’s the complete opposite. It’s probaly fear at work unless it’s pity banter about some MTV video or a party which I could care less about. I wanted to get xbox live, and when i thought about voice chat it sorta scared me and then I thought “what I’am gonna say?!”. That was fear, I suspose it’s probaly fear due to lack of first hand exprience of comunicating with people using voice and being in front of them. When the fear is gone then you can make the right choice of wether you rather hang with people or stay home.