Another scientific proof:
Mystic, that was really funny!
lol! At least that scientific joke was simple enough for me 
How many dream scientists or dream authors does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Only the lightbulb changer can interpret their own lightbulb.
[size=18]I just had a dream… i went to sleep at 2:00 this afternoon and woke up at 3:45. I was at my house and i realized it was a dream. I cahnged the scenery to a gym floor and then i was sliding people and their beds across the floor. the the room became and Ice cave but much bigger. and slide people around some more… people were jumping around so i thought of flying. i leaped into the air and fell. then I leaped into the air again and flew extremely fast like…100 mph to the top edge.
I saw a sign that was posted on the top of slides. It said, "If you come in the game will get harder. Then i created this ball of aura type stuff it was almost white, clear and blue. I threw it and it was headed toward the wall and made this explosion that made a huge gash in the wall. Then i heard this thing yelling and screaming like it was made. then i heard someone in the “real world” come in and turn off my tv and games and telling me it was the 3rd player. I woke up{in my dream} only to realize that it was all fake and then i woke up from that dream into the real reality.
I THINK
You posted this in the wrong thread, morpheus. 
Have you done a RC InfectionO you might have been dreaming?
I thought I would just post this link, it’s cartoons but they are really funny.
click here 
That’s a good link moogle! Thanks.
Time for other blonde joke! 
I just love to laugh. 
===
Bad reception
A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, “How is much is this TV?”
The salesman said, “Sorry, we don’'t sell to blondes.”
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, “Sorry, we don’'t sell to blondes.”
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, “Sorry we don’'t sell to blondes.”
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
“Because that is not a TV, it’'s a microwave.”
That was really funny! I might try and remember some more jokes before we upset any blondes on this forum. 
I don’t know if someone knows this one already, but it’s very funny
A man suspected of SARS is lying in the hospital bed with a mask over his mouth.
A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed the young nurse replies, “I don’t know Sir, I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
He struggles again to talk through his mask an repeats, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Again the nurse replies, “I can’t tell. I’m only here to wash your face and hands.”
The Head Nurse was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so she marched over to inquire what was wrong.
“Nurse,” he mumbled, “Are my testicles black?”
Being a nurse of long-standing, the Head Nurse was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pyjama trousers, had a real good look, pulled his pajamas back up, replaced the bedclothes and announced, “Nothing wrong with your testicles!!!”
At this point, the man pulled off his mask and screams out: “I SAID, ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK ??!!”
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
- 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
- 16 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
- 6 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
- 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
- 50 to flame the spell checkers
- 48 to correct spelling/grammar flames
- 7 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb”
- …another 6 to condemn those 7 as anal-retentive
- 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”
- 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct
- 154 to email the participant’s ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their “acceptable use policy”
- 118 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
- 203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
- 111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
- 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
- 1 to ask if when buying a new bulb they should go for a screw or bayonet type
- 98 to argue that their version of screw in or bayonet is better than the other and always will
- 27 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs
- 14 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s
- 3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
- 33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”
- 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
- 19 to quote the “Me too’s” to say “Me three”
- 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
- 44 to ask what is a “FAQ”
- 4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”
- 143 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”
- 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
lol! soooo true (1 poster to post some random comment that doesn’t help anything… me)
Well, I know a couple of not funny jokes and a load of dirty jokes. (Which I won’t be telling to everybodies disapointment)
1.) What kind of slippers do you put on two left feet. Flip flips. (Not flip flops)
2.) New students join a secondary school. They really exited.
Teacher: I would like eveybody to start acting adult now. You have to SPEAK like an adult.
Children: Yes
Teacher: eh HEM
Children: Yes, Mrs Smith
Teacher: YOU, what did you DO for your holiday?
Child1: I went on an awo-plane
Teacher: The adult word IS AEROPLANE, with AN R.
Teacher: You boy, WHATdid you DO?
Child2: I went on a cho-cho-train
Teacher: It’s a RAILWAY train, GET IT RIGHT!
Teacher: AND WHAT DID YOU DO BOY?
Child3: I read a book.
Teacher: AND WHAT WAS IT CALLED?
Child3: Winny the shit, miss.
Sorry if this last joke happen to offent anybody. The point was that the book he read was called winny the pooh, just for anybody who didn’t get that.
will edit later, original link now not working.
click here to see a little cat doing a RC
It is working again.
A few short jokes
A guy went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam, then I’m a teepee, and then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor replied, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
What did the carpet say to the floor?
Don’t move – I’ve got you covered.
Where did the kittens go on a class trip?
To the meow-seum.
How do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.
Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?
To see how long he slept.
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark.
Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.
What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What do you call an 800 pound gorilla?
Anything he wants to be called.
i got one,
“good morning, i am 48 years of age and these are the events that ttok place on september 4 of 2003.”
" i was out playing golf and i was doing pretty badly when i hear this strange sound. i was on the first hole my third time around the course and feeling pretty frustrated. i found that the source of the sound was a frog, a frog that croaked something that sounded like nine-iron. i ignored it and continued playing but then it croaked louder ‘NINE-IRON’. so i thought, why not, i got nothing to lose. so i pulled out my nine-iron and took a swing. i got a hole in one. i picked up the frog and took it to the next hole. it said wedge. so i pulled the wedge out and again i got a hole in one. i played the hole game with the frog and got a perfect score. i felt great and i wondered what else the frog could predict. so i took it to the casino. by listening to it’s advice i made 500,000 dollars in an hour. i was on top of the world. so i went up to my hotel room with frog. i told the frog how greatful i was and asked if i could do anything to repay it. the frog craoked ‘kiss me’. i thought to myself, its the least i can do for it after all its done for me. so i picked up the frog and kissed it. all of the sudden it transformed into a gorgeous 16 year old girl." “And that, your honor, is how the 16 yo girl ended up in my room” 
Hey y’all since you’re throwing jokes out here’s mine
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a
drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets
up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one
in the face and says, “I went by your grandma’s house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!”
The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His buddies are confused,
because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, “I got it on with your
grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!”
The biker’s buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still
says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, “I’ll
tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!”
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and
says, …
“Grandpa, you’re drunk… Go home!”
A guy wants to lose alot of weight quickly, so when he finds and ad in the newspaper for a weight loss programme he rings them up. He orders the 3 day 5kg programme. The next day a beautiful woman from the company turns up at his house. Shes wearing nothing but sneakers and a sign that reads, ‘if you can catch me, you can have me’. So he runs after her, eventually catches her, and has his way with her. This happens again for the next couple of days. On the 4th day he checks his weight on the scales and is 5kg lighter. So he rings the same company again and orders the 5 day 10kg progamme. the next day the most beautiful woman hes ever seen turns up at hius house. Shes wearing nothing but sneakers and a sign that reads, ‘if you can catch me, you can have me’ . So he runs after her and with alot of effort catches her and has his way with her. This happens for the next 4 days. On the 6th day he checks his weight and is 10kgs lighter. He rings the company again and orders the 7 day 20kg programme. The next day a very musculan man turns up at his house. Hes wearing nothing but pink sneakers and a sign that read, ‘if I can catch you, you’re mine’ .
If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek
Picard:
Sigma Indri, that's the star.
So, Data, how far? How far?
Data:
Our ship can get there very fast,
but still the trip will last and last.
We'll have two days till we arrive,
but can the Indrans there survive?
Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge:
But sir, the engines are offline!
Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make is so, please make it so!
Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
we can't, we mustn't, and we shan't.
The danger here is far to great.
Picard:
But surely we must not be late!
Troi:
I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
Picard:
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker:
Not me.
Worf:
Not me.
Picard:
Computer, how long till we die?
Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
extinguishers from tractor beams,
and stop the fire, or so it seems...
Geordi:
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, hurray! Hurray!
Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet-
Data:
Which, by the way, is made of granite...
Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand-we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, please make it so.
Geordi:
There's sabotage among the wires,
and that's what started all the fires.
Riker:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
Troi:
We must seek out the traitor spy,
and lock him up, and ask him why?
Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
that we haven't heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, Help us, clothe us, feed us!
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor must attempt-must try!
Picard:
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
*Commercial break, commercial break.
How long will these dumb ads take?*
Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun-
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall.
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form,
all soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly,
hit him on the jaw-quite squarely.
Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end.
Crusher:
Now let's get our ship to fly,
and orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
Geordi:
Yes, sir, we can.
Picard:
Then make it so!
Author Unknown
Hahahahaha Dark Matter!
I think this may have been posted but I’m too lazy to look.
It’s a little gross for no real reason, and a variation involves michael jackson…
PS I aint no pedifile, it just made me laugh 
Whats the best thing about sex with twenty-five year olds?
There’s twenty of em.
BUT! My friend today just made this HILARIOUS great joke today, he just made it up. It depends on your taste, but if you like randomish things you’ll like it.
[b]Hold out your arm and hand and have your hand open looking like your grabbing something big, like a pinapple, from the bottom. Say to your friend, “So I have a pineapple in my hand, right?” almost rhetorically, as if you are trying to tell a story. 9 times out of ten they’ll say, “Right…” and then you shout at them “WRONG!!!”
(The joke is its quite obvious that you don’t have a pineapple in your hand…)
Try it and see the reactions. My mom didn’t get it/ didn’t like it. My sister, in college, laughed and laughed.[/b]