Lack of confidence and shyness part II

I didn’t used to be shy at all, but that was before I became more interested in boys. I dont have a brother and I don’t have very many friends that are boys and I don’t have a boyfriend so really! how am I supposed to know what to do around them? :bored: now I can barely talk to guys unless I’ve known them for a long time.

… do you see the paradox there? :smile:

Shut up, you aggressive brute… :wink:

Here’s a question I would pose to everyone: were you always shy/extroverted? Or did something in your life happen to make you that way? I became shy sometime during junior high when I moved to a new school, and am only just now getting over my shyness. Of course, there’s nothing wrong or right about being shy. During junior high, I became shy for various reasons (ease, comfort, etc). But now, it just doesn’t serve me any more and I decided to change. I’ve been silent long enough and have got some things I want to say to the world. :wink:

Life is a dream. The cute girl, the stranger on the bus - they’re all DCs. You can talk to them or ignore them. Just be whoever you are and don’t give a **** what they think, they’re DCs. They’re in your LD.

I think I became introverted when I went from primary to high school. In primary school I had loads of friends, was popular, etc. When I went to high school I was insulted and mocked quite regularly. Not to mention my obsessive crush on a girl over a period of a year. :sad: . So basically, I’m now quite introverted.

Actually, my full description of what various people have called me and I somewhat agree with:
A predictable, gothic, attention whoring scientist.

I only can to the realisation that I was a goth rather recently. At least I know why I flaunt my depression all the time.

:blush:

Relationship with said girl has left me rather bitter. I now as a whole, seem to hate women and have resolved never to get obsessed with one ever again.

Sigh. I’m a mental mess. :crying:

I’ve a little shy my whole life, although it really got bad way back in third grade. AT that time Iwas extremely scared of girls suddenly. I basically would never say anything to one. IF they asked me something, i would just be silent. It’s been VERY SLOWLY getting better over time, but I’m still very scared of talking with women (I’m gonna be a junior this year in highschool so it’s been 7 years).

That is a nice way of thinking :happy:

Exactly the same thing happened to me, except perhaps that I had an obsessive crush on a girl that lasted for at least 4 years before it went on to a more platonic level. I still now the exact moment I fell in love with her: March 21, 1991. I was almost 10 years old and we were doing some gym exercises. During some particular exercise I had to practice with her and that’s when it all started. The next 4 years I had lots of periods in which I was crying in my bed and really had difficulties breathing because of what I felt for her. I even tried to contact her telepathically (I just learned about this by that time)! But I never had the courage to tell her… Two years after I became in love with her, we went to separate schools so I lost contact with her (but not in my mind ofcourse). In time, this obsessive crush on her was replaced by a deep platonic feeling of love, affection and respect. About 6 years later I saw her again on a party. A friend of mine drove me back home that night. When we stood still for a traffic light, I noticed her sitting next to her dad in the car next to ours. Her eyes were fixed on me, and when the light went green, she turned her head and we looked into each other’s eyes until she disappeared in the distance. That moment was absolutely amazing! Later I began wondering if this really happened or if I just saw what I wanted to see. But I’m quite sure now this really happened :smile: I’m considering now to write her a letter in which I would explain exactly how I felt for her all these years (and still feeling). I don’t want to interfere with her life or something like that. I just want her to know.
Sorry if this is a bit off-topic but I thought it was about time I’d tell this story to someone. You guys are the first who hear about this :grin:
At secondary school I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible (unfortunately this didn’t work always). I already knew I was “different” than most others. If I had to choose between playing outdoors or reading books, I’d have chosen the latter. When I was about 12-13 I became obsessed with prehistoric animals, astronomy and the paranormal. Instead of going to friends or so during the holidays, I stayed indoors in my own world with my books and stuff. At the age of 17 I learned to party, which was a great way to release my bottled up emotions. I really loved to party!! At this age I began exploring the extreme, like terrorcore music and fetish stuff (but no personal experience :wink: ). During this time I also had some relations, but they never lasted for long. I so wanted to know some like-minded people. At university everything went downwards. In my first years I slept by day and went out whole night. I had to do my first year again and by the end of that years I went into a deep depression. The next year I luckily discovered lucid dreaming. Now I’ve never felt better.

Yeah I really use this to find my way in life. I notice I’ve become more extrovert and self-confident towards girls and other people in general because of this “LD-attitude”. I’ve also lost interest in relationships but that really doesn’t bother me.
I’m so happy I’ve found this forum :smile: And I don’t think I’m the only one. PasQuale: I can’t thank you enough :content:

IF you do that, I wouldn’t tell her ALL about it (being completely obsessed for years), that might scare her away.

Yeah I’ve thought about that A LOT. I’m not sure how I will handle it, or even IF I will write her a letter. I really don’t want to scare her or anything like that but it feels like some way or another she deserves to know this. IF I would tell her about it, I think I’ll mainly write about my deep platonic feelings for her.
To put things straight: this complete obsession wasn’t anything scary. I know I was pretty young for this at the time but it felt like really deep warm beautiful love, not some obsession like stalking madness or like that. Mostly it felt like this: if the only way to make her happy was to cut off my arm with a kitchen knife, I wouldn’t doubt for a second to do it. This seems perhaps a bit extreme but this “obsession” felt exactly this way. Know what I mean? Do you think this would scare her off? (I wouldn’t tell her anything about cutting off my arm ofcourse :smile: )

I second that. Although it seems that now you haven’t seen her for another couple of years and aren’t obsessed anymore… If you still feel that way it might scare her…

I once was quite obsessed with a girl called Aubrey. I called her my aubsession. :wiske: I am gay, I know. :tongue: :wink:

But why should this scare her off? I’m not asking her to see me again or to become friends with her. I don’t want to interfere with her life or want to upset her. I even don’t expect her to write me back. The only thing I would do is write this one letter to her so that she would know. To know that she knows it is MORE than satisfactory for me.
However, if there’s any chance that I would hurt her feelings with this letter, I won’t do it.

no, go ahead and send it. It just wasn’t clear from your posts what kind of intentions you actually had. The way you put it now, me thinks that she will feel happy and go to bed smiling on the day of getting your letter. :smile:

Ok I’ll give it a try then. But it will take some time before that letter is finished (need to find the correct words). And if I would doubt again I can always keep the letter for later or so.
I really hope you’re right that she’ll feel happy about it. Thx

sigh

There are so many people in this world… why bitter over one?

The post about the people being DC’s in your life, which consequently is an LD is a good way of thinking.

To be successful in social aspects of life is to treat people (especially ATTRACTIVE, WANTED women) as visitors in your REALITY which you construct.

DON’T be negative, extremely serious, dependant, predictable, uncertain about yourself (not confident) and generally an uninteresting person.

DO be a funny, interesting, initiative, non-restrainable person who’s a tad egotistical but in a confident, humorous way.

Mines started in kindergarten. My parents sent me to this summer camp that basically hated me. The camp was a pretty cheap camp and alot of the kids were coming from poor homes. I came from a well-off home. Lets just say I got harrassed at that summer camp and at the next few ones after that to the point I gained a subconsious fear of my own race(it sucks…alot…trust me). This happened very early in life so I naturally grew to fear people. I also had a crush on a girl in second grade. Lets just say It was the most embarrasing girl-boy situation possible. Even TV shows can get close to it. I proclaimed undying love(at age :cool: and wanted to marrry her. She said no and everybody knew about it. Well lets just say my hatred and distrust of people grew to a new level.

I’m still pissed at my parents for making me go to those summer camps and hopefully can get over it with LDs or therapy.

What a traumatic life. At least you’ve got the guts to tell girls you like them. I still don’t. Should I get myself hurt like you?

Did you get around to sending that letter mystic?
I have just read parts I and II of this topic. All my life I have been shy and lacked some confidence. I’m just thankful that I was born female, otherwise I would probably still be single now! :peek:

…and what’s wrong with being single?

locks away all the old threads in the LD4All filing cabinet and hides the key

Stop peeking through the old threads moogle…you might not like some of the stuff you find there!

wonders if that will peak moogles curiosity even more
:tongue:

You are too late I have gone through all the lucid lounge ones now :rofl: :rofl: now I’ll explore the old threads on the dream section!
what’s wrong with being single?"
Nothing if you are able to enjoy relationships…but if I had been male…I would guess I would never have been brave enough to ask anyone out on a date…and as for starting a sex life …there must be more performance anxiety for males.