Does anybody else here suffer from mood swings or anxiety or anything like that?
I find that I get things like that often when I come on the internet, particularly if I go online and none of my chat friends are online and there’s not much going on any of my message boards. It’s like if you ring up a friend because you really need a chat, but then they’re not in. My mum says that it’s all perfectly normal and part of the human condition. I absolutely hate it though.
I have to be careful that it doesn’t get a hold of me, because if I let it then I can end up in a right state, sometimes almost getting like a suffocating anxiety feeling, and I start pacing around and don’t know what to do with myself.
I do try to get round it by writing my feelings and thoughts down on my computer in a private diary space. Also, I think using Brainwave Generator really helps too, especially my Serotonin relaxation preset.
Also…
I recently realised that I was spending far too much time on the internet, going on every single evening to do nothing inparticular, so I decided to suddenly cut down on my internet useage (I have done many times previously, but for some reason my net useage really got out of hand very recently), by agreeing with myself to only go online at weekends.
This Saturday was the first time I went online since last sunday. I felt great during the week. I would come home from work, and then spend the evening doing something non-internet-related, such as making music, or even going swimming. I felt great. Then I came online Saturday afternoon, and started getting those anxiety feelings.
I don’t know quite what it is. I’m perfectly happy by myself when I’m not on the internet, but if I’m on the internet and nobody is about, it really upsets me for some bizarre reason. I can’t quite work it out. I don’t know, maybe I’m expecting too much from the internet, you know, expecting all my net friends to be online and there to be loads of messages in all my message boards, and then when I find there isn’t any I get these horrible feelings.
Even when I say that I only use the net at weekends now, I don’t use it all weekend at all. I went out shopping yesterday morning and I went out for a lovely walk this morning with my social walking group.
Also, it could be related to that Seasonal Affective Disorder thing, because I notice I felt like this a lot the exact same time of year last year, yet through the warmer months I felt absolutely fine!
Anyway, I feel much better now for having got all that off my chest. Now I’m going to relax to my Serotonin Brainwave Generator preset and hopefully that will calm me down a bit.
Ed.